BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) LIFE IN 2010
If you are reading this then you’re pretty much surely alive. Be thankful for that. You’re also on the internet. Pretty much if you’re reading this then you’re alive, on the internet, and the most horrendous pornography is a few clicks away. Hell, there is even a good chance that you could be reading this on a cell phone. We are living in the future and the future is perverted as hell. Thanks Al Gore!
(THREE) SLEEP
After a long day of work, nothing, or reading the hundreds of columns and blogs on this site there is nothing better than going to sleep. Sleep is a wonderful thing. It’s even better when you actually wake up the next day. Sleeping in, Sleeping with a loved one, Sleeping in class, Sleeping around, Sleep walking…. All variations are pretty great and fun for the kids. This is probably why Jebus put a low dosage of the date rape chemicals in turkey. Thanks Jebus!
(TWO) SEX
With a loved one, a stranger, or with yourself… Sex is good. I feel as if I’d go on with ranting about this one that I’d have to put up a disclaimer of some sort. So I’ll just leave it at this… Thanks Alcohol!
(ONE) LAUGHTER
Sharing a smile is one thing, but sharing a laugh is priceless. It’s a shared experience between two or more parties that is mutually enjoyed. If a smile is big titties then a laugh is big titties bouncing. Giving a full hearted and spontaneous laugh is pretty much the closest one can get to being a child again. Even if the joke is dirty as hell, the few seconds of laughter is like a time machine. No matter what’s going on in your life, a laugh will always paralyze the pain. Wow… that was deep. Thanks Viagra!
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