BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) CHARLES BARKLEY
I enjoy Charles Barkley like I enjoy Homer Simpson, except I’d enjoy hearing Homer’s commentary ona basketball game. Charles would probably not even have made the list if he hadn’t started doing color on games. If he stuck to being his goofy self in the studio for pre, half, and post then I’d be okay. But his how-hum voice is a huge distraction from a game when you’re trying to get into it. And it’s even worse when the game gets intense because he starts getting more and more obnoxious.
(THREE) JEFF VAN GUNDY
I hate when the Bulls are on ESPN. You can hear spite in his voice when teams that were notorious for beating him during his coaching years are on the court or even really any successful team at all. He’s informative, but he shares his knowledge in a “as a matter of fact”/condensing kind of way. And okay, so what? Maybe I’m the one that’s harboring a grudge with him, but dammit his Knicks ruined a lot of school nights during the day.
(TWO) TERRY BRADSHAW
I’m just happy he doesn’t announce Bears games. I used to have to watch the FOX NFL show to keep up on stats during the few years I did fantasy football. It sucked because Terry Bradshaw was like nails on a sodomizing chalk board. His voice, his opinions, his everything is bad. I caught him on talk shows before and his bright eyed dimwit thing is stale quick. He seems like a nice enough guy, but he is way over bearing and is pretty much the living example of the stereotype old man former jock bone head. And his name rhymes with a character’s name from Sex in the City. Lame.
(ONE) TONY KORNHEISER
I’m can be entertained by Tony, but it’s more of like watching a train wreck. You’re entertained by the commotion, but you’d rather of it not had to happen. He’s just too outrageous and “sassy”. He reminds me of a jerky high school teacher that’d get off on his own farts. Tony Kornheiser makes sports sound like old man porn. I can’t explain why that makes sense, but it does and you know it.
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