BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) SAVED BY THE BELL
Duh. If you’re in your mid 20’s to early 30’s there is a very good chance that you or someone you know is a Saved By The Bell fanatic. They know every episode, they storylines, the jokes, and hold the show in high regards. I’m one of those people. I know it’s on at like 6 AM on TBS, but it’s not the same. They tried the New Class, but oh no… we shunned it. I know it sucked, but it could have been because we were just so attached to The Zack Attack. We should have been more open to the idea and we could have had Saved By The Bell go on and on like an American DeGrassi.
(THREE) THE MC/DJ COMBO
I know DJ’s are still out there. Every reality show star and musician go out and DJ at clubs all the time. And I know there’s some more famous ones still like Danger Mouse, The Mouse Guy with the “5” in his name, and I’m pretty sure Minney Mouse is mixing now too. And I guess if you’re a rapper, you’re pretty much a MC. I’m talking about the combos though. The RUN DMC, Beastie Boys, Slick Rick/Doug E. Fresh type of stuff. Where there would be a guy mixing and scratching while a MC or small group of them do their thing. Also, I miss names like “MC Razzle-Dazzle and DJ After-Birth”. If I were to time travel and start a hip hop duo that’s what I’d call it and that’s what you’d have on your shirt right now at this very minute.
(TWO) BOXY CARS
This might be a weird one, but I miss how cars used to have more a box shape. These super smooth and curvy automobiles are bland. Cars from the mid 90’s or so and back were monsters. It wasn’t just the old school Caddys or fancy cars, it was all of them. The junky cars, the station wagons, and the trucks. How is a child supposed to learn how to draw shapes when you’re robbing them of squares and rectangles? Now, it’s “draw a half-stepped on potato and put wheels on it”. That’s how cars look now and it sucks.
(ONE) NON-DIGITAL CAMERAS
This is for a few reasons. The first, obviously is nostalgia. Remember when you had to carry those small, but oddly bulky film things with you when you wanted to take pictures? To me, that hands on experience made for real pictures. Not these digital images we all share on the intranetz. You’d have to buy a shitty camera, constantly buy film, and then only on occasion remember to take it to Walgreens to get developed. I’m fairly certain I have about a half dozen roles floating around in boxes that have never been developed. The second reason is that with this kind of camera people can’t request to see it on the little screen every time it’s snapped. I mean they can request, but if they do I request you stomp on their big toe.
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