BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) JUSTIN BIEBER
I would love to see this kid take a break. He looks like Rebecca Lobo with an over-sided Three Stooges Moe wig on. I’ve seen the kid pop up a billion times over the past few months but I only know of one of his songs. Is that all he has? The thing about him is that if he takes a break then it’s a very good chance he’ll fade away pretty hard. It’s the same thing that happened to Hansen, Jonas Brothers, Hilary Duff, Raven Simone, and all other Disney/Nickelodeon kids who try to take a step back to grow up. The fan base grows and he becomes a footnote. I’m not saying he’s done, but he’s not going to ever be as popular right now ever again. For realzies.
(THREE) JOAN RIVERS
I’m afraid that if Joan Rivers takes a stop that she won’t be able to pick back up and keep going again. I saw her documentary I get her passion and need for work, but I really worry that if she did take, say six months off, she’d get sick or ill. It’s in her blood to work, but it’s tiresome and makes the rest of us feel lazy.
(TWO) JOEL MCHALE
He hosts The Soup, he stars on Community, he hosts award shows, he shows up on talk shows like twice a week, and I’m pretty sure he’s the male version of Ryan Seacreast. I’ve even heard rumors and speculation that he may infact take over Leno’s spot once hell freezes over. I’m a fan of his though. I generally do enjoy his presence when he’s around, but I’m afraid he’s going to have to do a lot of coke to keep up with this schedule. Give the dude a bong, a bed, and coloring book. Chill out, Joel McHale. We at Digital Lizard Productions wish you a long life.
(ONE) JAMES FRANCO
By 2014 every television show, movie, and laundry detergent will have involvement from James Franco. He’s an accomplished actor, he’s directing, he’s showing up on soap operas, he writes, he edits, he makes documentaries, and I heard a rumor he churns his own butter. He’s even hosting the Oscars this year. If he did any more projects he’d have to pay taxes on blinking. I don’t know what that means, but I bet he could tell us.
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