BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) INDOOR SCARVES
I don’t get it. I’m a bit annoyed by this. I love me a nice scarf as much as the next man. A cool scarf can go a long way in completing that Harry Potter/Sailor look. Apparently Darren Aronofsky didn’t get the memo. The douche wears scarves now whenever he’s on TV and grooms his mustache to look like John Water’s creepiest of admirer. I like the man’s work too. He has put out some really damn awesome movies, but it’s hard to like him when the whole time he’s on screen I’m thinking “wow, this douche is a douche”. If YOU wear scarves indoors like he does… stop!
(THREE) RED CARPET SASS
I don’t get it. What purpose does anyone have for being shitty about what someone is wearing at an award show. Unless it’s a fashion award show then shut the hell up. I don’t care if ugly people in gaudy clothes thought the inseam of so and so’s dress is made by Prada. How does ANY of this have to do with acting, music, or sports? Nothing. If someone shows up in something off kilter then so be it. I don’t need to hear someone get all sassy about it for way too long. (As long as it's not an indoor scarf)
(TWO) RANDY NEWMAN
I don’t get it. How does this guy make music for children’s movies. He might be a nice guy for all I know, but he’s a creepy guy. His songs all sound exactly the same and he sounds like a blabbering idiot. It’s almost as if the world decided to have one big inside joke as to where this man gets acclaim and honor and didn’t tell him nor me about it.
(ONE) LESBIAN HAIR
I don’t get it. This is not a message of hate, but rather something I seriously don’t get. I am all for people being themselves in any form and expressing themselves as they see fit. If it seems weird or lame to me, I’m going to mock it. Sorry, I’m just a non-discriminatory jerk. My problem here is that after watching the Oscars and just observing the obvious I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t get lesbian hair. Why do lesbians insist on cutting their hair short? What’s wrong with long hair? It just seems as if lesbian women are becoming a victim of being trend followers. People are more than stereotypes… and short hair is just bleh.
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