BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) HE’S FINE.
I’ve always liked Charlie Sheen enough. Major League, Cadence, Young Guns, Men At Work, and other movies of his were watched fondly in my youth. I dug his stuff on Spin City and he has always seemed like a cool guy. But really, I never paid attention. He could have very well been this off the wall and “crazy” the whole time. Some gossip shows try to make you believe it, but who knows. Do we know for sure he hasn’t always been drinking Tiger Blood? He wears way too many bowling shirts to not be content with life.
(THREE) HE’S MENTAL.
They say he’s not on any drugs, so there has to be some kind of logical reasoning to the man’s crazy behavior. That most logical reason is that he’s having a breakdown and needs to get some metal help as soon as possible. Is he Bipolar? Skitzo? Manic? I’m not one to diagnose. There seems to be some big problems here. A professional evaluation is probably the only way to keep the man alive.
(TWO) HE’S A GENIUS.
He’s doing it for the free press? Possibly. The professional wrestling lover in me thinks there could be some kind of deep rooted storyline or better known as a “publicity stunt”. Let’s just get hypothetical here. WHAT IF CBS, Sheen, and the Two and Half Men people are all in this together. The ratings are up and people who never cared about the show are now watching in part of the Sheen show. It’s been said the ratings went up on their normal night, but I’m almost willing to bet the farm that syndication ratings went up too and people found the times and showings for the first time during all of this. Maybe there WAS a fight, but WHAT IF they patched it up but agreed they needed a few month vacation. I know, I know, I know… WHAT IF. Still. Whatever the truth is, Sheen is milking the hell out of this and is probably more talked about right now than ever before.
(ONE) ALIENS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER AND ARE USING HIM AND HIS ANTICS TO DISTRACT US FROM THE STEPFORD WIVES SWAP.
I think this is the most likely answer. Aliens are going to take over and are using him and his antics to distract us from the Stepford Wives swap. Think about it. It’s a historic “coincidence” that some kind of entertainment story breaks just as some big world issue is being decided without anyone’s input or attention. We’re distracted and the aliens are just slipping right in and having their way with us. You getting headaches lately or hear others complaining about headaches? Me too. Let’s not ignore this. Or… maybe… it’s NOT the aliens, but rather someone else. I’m just saying, there HAS to be a puppeteer here. Charlie Sheen is not THIS smart.
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