BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) NICKI MINAJ
Call me a hater, but Nicki Minaj sucks. I almost didn’t want to include her in this edition because she’s on a list with people who have actually had some substantial success. She’s a flash in the pan. She, like Ke$ha, are Gaga clones in the same manner as Vitamin C’s and Jessica Simpsons popped up after Christina and Spears. Her style is like a mannequin who’s embarrassed about a really loud fart. Eventually the smell will pass.
(THREE) MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
Call me a hater, but My Chemical Romance sucks. They took the whiney vocals of pop punk and went on a shopping spree at the Manson and Bowie second hand store. This band just feels really artificial. It doesn’t feel like anything written with passion, but with complete intent to pander and sell to the “disenchanted youth”. There is really only one reason to try here. If you’re a teenage boy who enjoys a good emotional weep then My Chemical Romance is for you.
(TWO) LAMB OF GOD
Call me a hater, but Lamb of God sucks. Well, not so much “suck” but just not my thing. I’ve listened, I’ve seen them them live, and I’ve given them a fair chance. I don’t get the appear AT ALL. It sounds like someone took a really cool sounding song and fast forwarded it and added growl vocals. I can deal with some good speed metal, but it’s the vocals that kill it. I don’t get how anyone can enjoy or relate to incoherent sounded growls. Then other bands will bust out the whole “growl-growl-growl-shitty harmony-growl-growl-growl” method. I like to claim that I enjoy all music that is NOT country, but this makes me rethink my stance.
(ONE) NICKELBACK
Call me a hater, but Nickelback sucks. Their watered down rock music is the soundtrack of a sad life. It’s like Bon Jovi, without ALL of their conviction with perms and from Canada. Please notice I don’t think Bon Jovi had ANY conviction. Does that make sense? Nickelback is like if the country got their hands on grunge-rock. The band is douche. The music is lame. I don’t hate their fans, but I do kind of feel bad for them. They’re probably good people, but they’ve just not been exposed to better art… or they’re just stupid. Probably the latter.
|
