BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) RECYCLED OLD TRICKS
A princess is humble and nice and her surroundings and friends make her smile. Oh no! Villain! The princess is in distress! Prince saves the day! The end. You can switch up some of those details or add a little here or there but that’s the routine. What kind of cute characters can be marketed here? What princess will little girls want to emulate? What washed up 80’s rockstar can do the soundtrack? I’m not saying for them to do anything risqué or vulgar, but something new… a new way of thinking would be much cooler.
(THREE) FEMALE EXPECTATIONS
In these stories the good looking prince hooks up with the good looking princess. The Hunchback, the Dwarfs, the animals, and goofy sidekicks get the laughs. Sadly, most girls will grow up thinking they’re a princess when in fact they’re closer to the goofy sidekick, animals, or dwarfs. They’ll also spend their lives waiting for their good looking prince to come in and sweep them off their feet.
(TWO) MONEY MAGNET
Looking behind the curtain, Disney is a cash making machine. They sell movies, merchandise, tickets to their amusement parks, resorts, attractions, and have to have one of the most famous and loved brands in the history of branding. They capitalized on a market and made billions off of it. You really can’t blame them. Yet with this market cornered they could easily lower prices and make things even more affordable. There are so many people who never get to experience their parks because of how ridiculous it costs. Imagine if they opened Disney attractions in more locations and LOWERED the price? They’d make a killing. But no. You can rest assure that your grandkids are going to be stuck paying like a hundred dollars for a Goofy shirt.
(ONE) UNREALISTIC ENDINGS
It’s always fun to see a movie close out with a happy ending. After all, a fairytale wouldn’t be a fairytale if you didn’t leave it feeling better about the world. That’s what these heartwarming stories are for. But let’s face the facts here, the world isn’t like that. You might have a few happy moments and endings in your life but for the most part it’s going to be boring, bad, or inconsequential. Putting this stuff in a kids head early on is going to screw them up and make their expectations in life way more unrealistic than they should be.
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