BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) UNEVEN TOURNMENT
A tournament should have an equal amount of teams in it. For years it was always a 64 team tournament. For years those 64 teams would become 32 then “The Sweet 16” then “The Elite 8” then the “Final Four”. These numbers mean something. In recent years they threw some PR stunt nonsense out there by doing 65 teams with two teams having a play off for the 64th spot. NOW it’s 68? Four extra games are played in the tournament. Instead of having the two losers of the Final Four play in a “third place playoff”, we get scrubby little schools getting in unjustly.
(THREE) GO RANDOM COLOR! GO!
If you have watched NCAA before March this year then the joke is on you. It’s cool to rep your school, but for a lot of people they seem to go for whatever school is closest to them. Hometown pride is fine, but in reality all you’re doing is cheering for a random jersey color or a logo. No one who wins March Madness bracket pools actually follow along. Smart ones use a fair balance of logic and luck. That’s all you need. Hell, as far as I’m concerned they should even show college sports on TV unless a championship or virgin’s life is on the line.
(TWO) EXTRA TIME
In the NBA, the world’s largest and most recognized professional basketball league, the shot clock is 24 seconds. In NCAA Men’s basketball it’s 35 seconds. I don’t know if you know this, but that’s OVER HALF A MINUTE! That’s like forever and a day. So much can be done in 35 seconds that it’s almost ridiculous to think about. No wonder college games are boring and have low scores. If wanted they could pass the ball around like a hot potato for 34.99 seconds at a time before anyone gets a whistle. What’s even funnier is that the NCAA women’s basketball shot clock is only 30 seconds. How lame can they be? I won’t even begin to get into the whole 20 minute halves nonsense…
(ONE) GROWN UPS CRYING
This may sound kind of sick, but I find a weird amusement in watching collegiate athletes weeping after games. And just to clarify, I’m not even talking about those who WIN their matches; I’m talking about the losers. I’ve seen high school sporting events where a player will cry their eyes out when they’re done. It’s even bigger in college games, especially the championship ones. I know emotions are high and odds are it’s the last game they’ll play at least on that level. Still, you’re on national television. Shape up and show some spine. I’m not a macho-type or anything. I know people can get worked up on stuff, but some restraint would be appreciated. Basically, either save the weepies for your mama or prepare to have the world’s last memory of your playing basketball you crying like a little girl. (No offense to little girls.)
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