BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) SCRATCH ‘N SNIFF STICKERS
How bad ass was it when you could scratch a sticky piece of paper, sniff it, and it smell vaguely like grape? I don’t know what the hell happened here. If you asked any kid from the 80’s Scratch ‘n Sniff stickers would be destined for big things. The truth of the matter is that these things never really looked that cool and the smells went away after one scratch. Then you’d scratch it too much and it’d look stupid and NEVER come off whatever it was stuck to. Still, they were awesome.
(THREE) PADLESS PLAYTIME
I’m not saying I want your children to get hurt. Of course not. I’m just a tad annoyed with the softness of kids today. I hate to be the old guy and say “back in my day”, but dammit, back in my day kids didn’t wear helmets, knee pads, elbow pads, etc. We’d skate, ride bikes, jump off high places, and life free of the padded shackles you parents are putting on your kids today. Do you know how I know not to try to press my luck on roller skates? The twenty plus year old scar on my knee, that’s how!
(TWO) CELEBRATION STATION
I researched this about a year or so ago. Celebration Stations ARE still out there. I grew up with the local one being in Merrillville, Indiana. I didn’t get to go a whole lot, but come birthday parties and very special occasions I’d get to indulge on the massive arcade, horrible cardboard pizza, mechanical animals, cheap prizes, and the complete and utter chaos. I’m fairly certain if I walked into the same place now the extravagant memories in my head wouldn’t measure up.
(ONE) “NINJA” KID MOVIES
In the 90’s we had TONS of “ninja” movies. Karate Kid was popular, but after that came tons of “ninja” productions. Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, VR Troopers, and all that stuff was around too, but I’m talking about the movies. The “Three Ninjas” franchise, and yes… it was a franchise, was pretty damn popular for a few years. Yeah, the kids seemed to always change and they did include Hulk Hogan at the end but it worked for “Rocky” didn’t it? Hell, one underrated ninja movie is “Beverly Hills Ninja”. Chris Farley rocks it and Chris Rock is fun in his supporting role. But yeah, there were TONS of “Ninja” movies back in the day…
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