BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) AMSTERDAM
Why? It’s Amsterdam. You can legally do anything you want there. While that’s not completely true. They still have laws and regulations, but they stress the important stuff and let the weed and hookers slide right by. I’m not really one to look for hookers, but the other stuff… yeah, why not!
(THREE) JAMAICA
Why? Bob Marley. The same reason as Amsterdam but with a more “social conscious” attitude. You can go there, buy some weed, hang out on a beach, and have all the possibility of getting shanked. Yeah, Jamaica has some areas that aren’t really for tourists. You CAN and will get robbed, but just avoid those places. Where there is smoke… there is fun!
(TWO) PANAMA
Why? Van Halen. The magic and awesomeness of one Van Halen song is enough for me to put this on my destinations list. I’m not talking about the Republic of Panama. If I leave the country I think I want to stay as far away from the equator as possible. What’s alarming here is that I don’t think I’ve used the word “equator” in ten years.
(ONE) FORT LAUDERDALE
Why? Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise. That’s the only reason I got behind this one besides the obvious “it’s on the beach and the weather is nice and hot”. The only reason I’d even consider this location is because I’d love to live out their movie experience. I’d like a trip where I get to hang out on the beach, get kicked out of the fancy hotel, get stuck in a shitty one, put on one of the first rap/rock performances, go to jail, get thrown off a boat, get stranded on a random island, find old military stuff, take over a college frat meeting, and then… and only then… I want to be able to punch Bradley Whitford IN THE FACE. Seriously, I have no frame of reference that Fort Lauderdale, Florida even exists.
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