BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) MORGAN SPURLOCK
I don’t get it. Morgan Spurlock makes documentaries about stupid shit. He ate McDonalds every meal for a month and got famous because unlike everyone else who does the SAME thing he filmed himself and was way over dramatic about it. I’m sure there’s some big moral to the story that we should pay more attention to what we eat and our health, but the dude is a sensationalist. While dudes like Michael Moore will sensationalize their documentaries to push their political views, Spurlock jumps on board for anything. He had a TV show where OTHER PEOPLE would do things for 30 days and he’d host it. Now he has a documentary about selling a movie. In the movie he sells out. He gathers as much corporate endorsement as possible and I’m SURE there is some deep meaning in it about how we’re being subliminally advertised to… of course with some witty retorts and over dramatized nonsense. It’d be cool if he’d actually do something productive himself for 30 days.
(THREE) ODDLY PLACED SWEATBANDS
I don’t get it. I’m cool with the old school NBA-style sweatbands. A sweatband on the head is okay. I can even agree with the idea of an occasional single wrist band. Then people had to take it too far. Why does anyone need a sweatband on a friggen forearm? That’s just so lame. I’ve been known to sweat with the best of them and my forearm is like the LAST place that perspires. It would be like wearing a bowtie on your ankle.
(TWO) THE BOOGER-LOOKING PIERCING
I don’t get it. They call it “the Monroe” or “the Crawford” in respect to the moles and beauty marks of Marilyn Monroe and Cindy Crawford. I’m open-minded as they come, but this one just doesn’t do it for me. It’s not appealing to me in the least. What am I missing here? To me it just looks like you have a really expensive booger on your face. I don’t see what someone gets out of it. It feels as if it’s one of the lamest “being different JUST to be different” trends out there.
(ONE) CROSS JEWLERY
I don’t get it. Jewelry is cool. I’ve been known to wear a watch on occasion. This isn’t so much about wearing jewelry in general. I came up in a Catholic school, but never really latched on to Catholicism. I respect religion, but I’m not blind. I will question religion and faith all day. I am spiritual, but I don’t really know to what extent anymore. That’s all irrelevant though. If the dude who died on the cross is your main source of faith then why would you wear the symbol of his death around your neck? A reminder? Do you REALLY need a reminder that Jesus was NAILED to wood and left for dead? That shit is crazy. It’s accepted because it’s the norm and people will justify it, but it doesn’t make any sense. Should Tupac and Biggie fans wear little guns on their necks? Should George Harrison fans wear knives? I know these aren’t religious deities, but still.
|
