BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) LIVE
I like the Ed dude’s voice and all. Live does have some catchy and memorable songs. It’s just hard to take them seriously. They sound like what Tool would sound like if they covered shit like Maroon 5. I say Live sucks because they’re a bit of a disappointment. The voice is solid and the tunes are somewhat catchy, but it’s void of substance, balls, and edge. It’s almost as bad as Matchbox Twenty.
(THREE) MATCHBOX TWENTY
Gross. Rob Thomas got with Santana to ruin a perfectly good summer of youth. I’m still pissed that I had to hear “Smooth” five billion times in my life, but I’m going to be specific in my hate here. Matchbox Twenty sucks. Everything I said about Live is true here too, except not as good vocals and not as good song. For some reason middle America and the mindless and souless masses thought that Matchbox Twenty could fill the void in their hearts. Generic music for generic people. Eat it, Matchbox Twenty! Eat it!
(TWO) POISON
I saw Poison in concert a few years ago and it was a good time. It was fun to see old people take extra effort to look like they’re from the trashiest of trailer parks. Poison just always felt like a cheap imitation of Motley Crue. I’ve not brushed up on my Behind the Music episodes so I don’t know what came first and I don’t really care. The “Every Rose has a Thorn” song is the only thing I know for sure is them. The rest is like an 80’s mix tape. It’s all the same. Motley Crue is just cooler and I only have enough room for one of them in my life.br>
(ONE) PAPA ROACH
Cut myself into pieces…this is a horrible band. The only song of merit they had was their first big single back at the turn of the century. Then they fell off… then they changed their style to a more emo rock monstrosity. Then they blow up again a little… and fall off again. Then they change their style again and get more acclaim. I’m all for a band evolving and growing as artists. If they played the same stuff every album it would get old fast. The difference here is that it’s blantant as hell that Papa Roach aren’t artists. They didn’t grow or evolve. They’re followers. They see current trends and styles and then change themselves to make the most people happy as possible. It’s a little too bubble gum factory produced for me… and their music sucks.
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