BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) BROKEN MIRROR
This reflective glass holds soooo much power that if you break it, you’ll get bad luck. This bad luck doesn’t just happen to you, but it will last for like seven years. That’s A LOT time. Most television series don’t even last that long. Shit happens. Things break. Sometimes you have to walk under a ladder in order to avoid a puddle. Sometimes a mirror is broken after a horrible timed toss of the deodorant can.
(THREE) BLACK CAT CROSSES YOUR PATH
Cats are just stupid to begin with. They’re lazy. They smell bad. They make my eyes water and throat get scratchy. Cats are a cross between a baby and a stuffed animal. They’re just unpleasant creatures. For some reason when a black one crosses your path you get bad luck. Why does it have to be a black one? I’m not racist… against cats. I hate them all.
(TWO) RABBIT’S FOOT
For some reason it’s considered that a severed rabbit’s foot is good luck. How in the hell can THAT be good luck? First of all, it’s kind of gross. You have A LIMB on a friggen keychain. This Celtic tradition is just creepy. Second of all, where’s the luck for the rabbit? Not only does the rabbit have a foot missing… but the lucky one of all foots! Poor Bugs.
(ONE) FRIDAY THE 13TH
The fear of this specific day is called “friggatriskaidekaphobia”. There is no evidence this superstition was around before the 19th century, but it sure as hell was around long before any slasher flicks. This specific day happens fairly often and there are always lame folk who instantly want to put a negative spin or stigma on it before they even leave the house. It’s just another day. It’s unlucky because you’ve psyched yourself into being lame.
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