BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) JOHN WATERS
It’s a creepy thin mustache, but John Waters is a creepy thin guy so it works. The man has made a name for him by going after the most offensive and obscure. He’s pretty much a DIY genius and is a master at selling himself. Part of that product is his bad ass stache. Waters and Justin Bieber did a talk show together overseas and Bieber came back with a drawn on stache just like Waters. Coincidence? I think not. Hell, if you’ve read this entire paragraph you might want to check for your own stache. It’s THAT powerful.
(THREE) FREDDY MERCURY
You know that typical bland fake mustache? I’m pretty sure the prototype for what is now considered “the standard mustache” came from the upper lip of the lead singer of Queen. Fred’s stache is one part traffic cop, one part old school body builder, one part Mario brother, one part caterpillar of smooth.
(TWO) TOM SELLECK
If you’ve watched talk shows in recent years Tom Selleck’s mustache has become a bit of an pop ironicon(ironic + icon = “ironicon”). Magnum P.I.’s mustache is one of the coolest I can think of. The trick here is that it’s not just Tom Selleck’s mustache. He wears it well, but it’s not complete until he’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
(ONE) BURT REYNOLDS
Burt Reynold’s hair went grey, but his mustache is still full on dark brown. This is because while Mr. Reynolds is getting older his mustache is getting younger. It’s like the Benjamin Button of facial hair. Also nice with a Hawaiian shirt, “The Bandit” has been a staple in all things “stache”. Jason Lee’s stache in “My Name is Earl” is obviously homage to ol’ Burt. It doesn’t end there.
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