BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) VISOR HAT
It’s cool to wear hats, but REAL hats. A hat covers the head. This monstrosity is a bandana with a bill. A baseball cap without the restraints of actually covering the dome. It’s like walking around with your fly open. People DO notice, but they don’t want to look. Your spiky hair isn’t THAT cool. There is literally NO reason to wear a visor at any time. Nope… none at all!
(THREE) WASTED TECHNOLOGY
I think my generation is the last generation to experience a world without massive technology. I remember computer screens with only a green tint. I remember when cell phones didn’t exist. Dial-up internet was AMAZING. CDs were new. It was all so new to us. Most of us have adapted, but it’s been a journey. Now a days kids were born into this technology. They’ll never know what dial up is, grade schoolers have cell phones, everything is computerized, and before we know it CDs will go the way of the cassette. I hate to sound like one of those “back in my day” types of old foggeys that I used to make fun of. The truth of the matter is that a good portion of the young folk these days are weaklings and dumbed down due to the lack of proper communication. Imagine if our grandparents had the technology of today…
(TWO) PLAID SHORTS
This is my newest pet peeve. When did it become acceptable for people to wear plaid shorts. It's like someone said "I want to dress like Justin Timberlake but make it as douchey as possible". The typical plaid short outfit includes these horrible shorts, a wife beater, and either a flat bill hat or pork pie hat. Another thing I noticed about them is that they’re long shorts. It’s like they can’t decide if they want to be shorts or pants. It’s like capris for douche bag guys.
(ONE) “DEUCES”
This is easily one of the dumbest slang trends I can remember. I get it. It’s two fingers making a peace sign, but instead of saying “peace!” it’s been redubbed as “deuces”. C’mon. Just say “later” or heaven forbid “goodbye”. Just because you use a lack of education to say simple phrases doesn’t make you ANY cooler than someone with a reading level above grade school. The only time the word “deuces” is okay is in card games and the occasion reference to “dropping a deuce”. Even then, it’s kinda lame.
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