BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) WANDA SYKES
Off the bat, I’m not including any “Blue Collar Comedy” because I think we can all agree they’re in a shit-league of their own. Do I respect Wanda Sykes? Sure. Do I enjoy her comedy? Not at all. She’s just too abrasive. I’ve tried watching her stand up, her talk show appearances, and even “Wanda At Large” but I just can’t get into it. I’m a white guy so I’m sure that’s why most folk would say “well, it’s not FOR you so of course you wouldn’t”. Whatever. Good comedy is good comedy. I’m not a black guy, but I’ll laugh for days to old school Pryor or newer old school Chris Rock. I can enjoy the hell out of Sarah Silverman or other female comedians. It’s NOT that. I just don’t like her. You know how she always shows up on Curb Your Enthusiasm just in time to take Larry David’s antics the wrong way? Yeah, I feel that awkward tension whenever I’m supposed to laugh.
(THREE) DANE COOK
Dane Cook is going to do fine if we hate him or not. There are always going to be run of the mill dumb people who will show up in droves to support the lowest common denominator. The dude is a walking Jersey Shore joke. He popped up in movies, he showed off his abs a lot, and he made a lot of money. The “flash in the pan” comedian will always find work in post-high. Look at Carrot Top. He’s a freak and his shtick is crap, but he still makes bank. Gallagher is still out there smashing fruit for dummies. Dane Cook doesn’t have a prop show. He’s a prop comic too dumb to use a prop. He looks like he smells like pee.
(TWO) JEFF DUNHAM
He uses puppets in 2011. They’re horrible stereotypes and people LOVE this shit. My problem is that you can see him move his mouth CLEARLY. I’d think someone who is on that high of a plateau would be able to do without looking like a “witty third grader”. On his own, with no puppets, he is a really bland and boring guy. Then you throw in a terrorist-looking Muslim character and a crazy redneck and you get crap. He’s like the “Blue Collar Comedy” for younger people. When I see Jeff Dunham on TV I dive for the remote like my life depends on it. In many ways it does, dammit.
(ONE) KATHY GRIFFIN
Kathy Griffin is the most annoying person in the world. Her voice is like nails on a chalk board, her humor is all gossip, and her personality is the most unpleasant personality in the entire world now that they got Bin Laden. I’ve tried to watch her show and her TV specials, but it’s all crap. It’s her pandering to sassy housewives and sassy gay men with “I’m so sassy” gossip stories about her interactions with celebrities, her mom, and her “team”. She is the epitome of everything that is wrong with not just stand up comedy, but humanity itself. If you can’t tell, I’m a huge fan!
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