BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) SKIP-IT
Remember this? The combination here was weird. It was like old time jail meets the hoola hoop. Basically, it was like putting a ball and chain on your ankle and then spinning it around and jumping over it. It’s like a jump rope for people too lazy to use both legs are unpopular to the point no one wants to jump rope with you. I don’t really think I ever got too much into this. I probably used one once or twice, but I never owned one. I still don’t want one, but I encourage its use!
(THREE) SINGULAR STRAPPED OVERALLS
“Nice overalls, Poetic Justice!” is what I’d say. It was a horrible fashion trend, but I miss it. Pants were baggy as opposed to skinny jeans and people have no problem bending the bills of their hats. It was a much better world in all. One thing that was fun was watching people try to act like a bad ass by wearing overalls…. But to REALLY prove their bad-ass-ness they leave one strap undone dangling around all impotent like. I think I miss this trend mainly because I miss making fun of it.
(TWO) FINGERBOARDS
Back when skateboarding was having it’s late 90’s surge people were REALLY capitalizing on it. Tony Hawk was a god. We had the Tony Hawk video game series, X-Games was real, and those who invested in cargo shorts made a pretty penny. One random thing I remember from these days was “finger boards”. It was little skateboards that you maneuver around and do “tricks” on with your fingers. It was so stupid. I want one.
(ONE) CHICKS WITH DOG COLLARS
It was probably mostly when goth was at its peak, but I remember it even during the whole “nu-metal”, I know it was “punk”, and I know it’s just one of those things. It’s not like you can go to the mall and see hot chicks walking about with dog collars. You have to watch old movies about hackers, vampires, witches, and Papa Roach videos to get your fill on it now. I’m not trying to be sexist or anything. Dudes can wear them too, but I’m just not going to care as much when they do. Sorry dudes, you’re barking up the wrong tree.
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