BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) TWO AND A HALF MEN
Charlie Sheen, John Something, and Angus Something…. Hilarity ensued like it’s 1988! Seriously, this show has the sensibility of Weekend at Bernies. In fact, they SHOULD have just created a Sheen-like corpse and had John Something and the weird kid Angus Something carry him around like Bernies. That would have been amazing. “Winning”! For sure!
(THREE) GLEE
Were three High School Musical movies not enough? Do you have a unfound need and lust for old episodes of FAME, but just can’t get around the idea of them NOT singing Top 40 shit fest songs? Do you tell people you like music and need to justify it with some sort of easy bubble gum viewing habit? What does anyone really get out this karaoke version of a WB show?
(TWO) CSI
Why don’t you just watch Law and Order like a real adult? I’ve seen about 14.9 billion commercials for CSI because I once watched 20 minutes of TV. People seem to always joke and comment on the fact that Law and Order is ALWAYS on. CSI is on just as much, but the observational humor is always about Law and Order. Why? Because Law and Order is better. CSI is like Miami Vice for the iDouche generation.
(ONE) BIG BANG THEORY
I’m a nerd. Not in the current “hip” way either. I’m old school. I like computers. Not “devices”, but a manly desktop computer. I don’t like, wear, or even own jeans anymore. I wear slacks and button ups at public times. If you spend more than two minutes on your hair then you’re not a nerd. If you “wear” a handkerchief out of the back of your pocket for any reason other than putting your snot into it then you’re not a nerd. I could go on. To me, Big Bang Theory is a mistral show for nerds. The characters are clichés of the most obvious variety. It’s what people still THINK nerds are like. The characters aren’t even likeable. The really whiney one from Roseanne and the one that a friend and I think has “ass-burgers”(I spell it wrong for fun) disease. I grew up loving Revenge of the Nerds. Those nerds had the stereotypes of 1980’s nerds, but weren’t so one dimensional. They had personality outside of their nerdness. It felt way more natural than hearing “Oh Sheldon!” in the whiniest voice ever. Real nerds watch Community.
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