BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) “SCUT FARKUS” FROM “THE CHRISTMAS STORY”
Zack Ward played “Scut Farkus”. I always thought it was “Scot”, but the internet tells me different. Christmas Story is one of the best modern classics when it comes to Christmas movies. It’s been around since I can remember. It’s just one of those movies that EVERYONE has to see and know. Farkus was the biggest asshole ever. I hated him. Why would be keep fucking with Ralphie? What the fuck did he ever do to him? Dude had that asswhoopin’ coming. I hate Zack Ward… nothing personal… but it’s a huge hate.
(THREE) “SAM” FROM “DIFF’RENT STROKES”
Danny Cooksey has been on a few things I’ve enjoyed. Diff’rent Strokes is just the tip of the ice berg. He was a douchey kid with a bad mullet in “Salute Your Shorts” and he was John Connor’s douchey teen friend with a bad mullet in “Terminator 2”. He was just that lame proto-type cute red headed kid. I wish Dudley would of beaten him up.
(TWO) “CHUCKY” FROM “CHILDS PLAY”
I hate that little doll so much. He was a criminal that was killed and then got his soul transplated into a doll. Then said doll goes apeshit and kills a lot of people. The one-liners and the method of murder is what always bothered me. It was too far of a fetch in a horror movie. If a doll comes at you, you run or kill it. How can you not overpower a doll? It’s was an ugly little red headed doll and I hope we’re done with sequels.
(ONE) “KATHY GRIFFIN” FROM “COMEDY”
I’m an opinionated guy. I like stuff and I dislike stuff. I’m not afraid to voice my opinion either way. Kathy Griffen exceeds that simple “dislike” and borders on a crazy level of “GRRRRR HATE!” I don’t wish her any physical harm or anything. She MIGHT be cool when she’s not “on”, but when the fuck is that? She’s like the school gossip except she’s only around real kids once a day for gym and lunch and the rest of it is spent in a weird special class. She’s not “special” in an offensive term, but in a “she is a bitch and has a constant need for attention to the point where it makes you want to carve a penis in the hood of their car”. Ooooooh!
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