BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) BILL BURR
I think it’s because I’ve seen him play a creep in movies before. He’s got that whole dirty Boston thing going. I don’t know for SURE if he’s from “Boston”, but that’s the vibe I get without reading his biography. I tried, but I didn't like his stand up and I tried, but again couldn't get into his Monday podcasts. The tone in his voice makes me feel like he's coming from a hateful place. I can deal with any type of joke from someone who's just doing it for the joke, but with Burr he feels like he's just picking on the world. I’m pretty sure he’d cipher my parents gas tank.
(THREE) ARTIE LANGE
He’s funny and seems like a cool guy, but he’s a creepy dude. I’d love to party with him for like an hour. I’d prefer it to be like the first or second hour of Lange’s “party time”. Too far in would result in him being too much to handle. I love his stand up stuff and his stories are the closest things stand up comedy gets to the 60s/70s rockstar road stories. I still wouldn’t want to be around him too long. Eventually he’d get me in trouble or break my shit. I’d probably get a headache too.
(TWO) TODD BARRY
He’s funny and seems like a cool guy, but he’s a creepy dude. I’m not even sure if he’s all that funny. He’s humorous, but something registers a “blocker” so to speak that shuts down all smiles when I see him. He looks like the guy on the ledge who needs to be talked off. In reality, I hope he’s a happy guy and has his stuff together, but he gives off a “creepy uncle” vibe.
(ONE) SOMMORE
He’s funny and seems like a cool guy, but he’s a creepy dude. Remember Eartha Kitt’s character from Boomerang? I think she mated with the most obnoxious of reality show “personalities”. I had the pleasure of seeing Sommore perform a few years back in Chicago. She was entertaining, but the vibe I get from her is just “off”. I’ve been around plenty of strong black female personalities, eccentric types, flashy types, loud types, etc. I could be totally off here, but I feel like she could pull out a bedazzled switch blade at any time and cut off one of my nostrils or something random like that.
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