BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) CHEAPSKATES
If you got it, why give it up? People talk about cheapskates and the more frugal of spenders as if they’re up tight and bad. Why? Why can’t someone earn or gain money or something of value and want to keep it for themselves? If it’s earned, it’s a reward for that effort. I’m not saying don’t take care of those you care about or sharing your wealth, but being cautious about your finances isn’t anything bad. If you disagree, you’re a gold digging crap face.
(THREE) WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS
If I see a nipple or a titty… so what? Who is it hurting? The kids? The elderly? Who? It’s a boob! So what? It’s not like they’re being flaunted around or anything. If it’s unsolicited sexuality, I get it. I wouldn’t want a kid to watch anything pornographic. At the same time, I don’t think a little sexiness is wrong or anything. The key word is “malfunction”. It was an accident. Shit happens. If you get too worked about it then you’re a busy body crap face.
(TWO) FRISBEES
I’ve not had a Frisbee in my toy arsenal in a long time. I used to have tons of cheap Frisbees. I never played as an adult. I know Frisbee golf is popular and it’s something stoner kids do in college. I’m not thinking about that stuff. I’m more into the idea of throwing a Frisbee so high and far that it lands on a roof. I’m not sure if many people know this, but Frisbees have a magnetic-type of force chemically made into it that draws it to roofs. Totally true.
(ONE) POCKET WATCHES
The idea of having a watch to keep in your pocket on a chain connected to a belt loop is pretty cool. It’s classy as hell and at this point in time is a pretty fun novelty. It still pains me to say that I’ve never had a pocket watch that was worth more than like $30. They always stop working after so long and just end up taking up space. I can’t hate the pocket watch though. I’m just too much of a cheapskate. Go figure.
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