BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) ISN’T A WINDOW LEDGE IS THE WORST PLACE TO COOL OFF A PIE?
As far back as at least the Civil war miscreants, pies have been stolen off window ledges. At least that’s the earliest in a movie that I’ve seen it done. I’ve seen it in movies, television shows, and plenty of cartoons. There is always a bum, a kid, or someone of ill intentions lurking when a pie is left to cool on a window ledge. You’d think people would learn by now. After two or even three news stories of pies being stolen off window ledges I think people would have been smart enough to leave them somewhere else.
(THREE) WHY IS IT THAT “DRIVE THRU” RESTURANTS ARE ALMOST ALWAYS “DRIVE AROUNDS”?
I’ve seen some drive thru’s that were similar to a bank windows. More times than not you’re forced to drive around a building and pull up to a window. I guess you’re driving thru their property, but I don’t think that’s the intention of the word. Hell, a “pull up” would work and sorta sounds better. “I’m hungry, turn into that McDonald’s pull up” sounds better.
(TWO) WHY IS ROLLING TWO 1’S IN DICE CALLED “SNAKE EYES” AND NOT “FOX EYES” OR “DOG EYES” OR “GRANDMA EYES!”? WHY BRING THE SNAKES IN THIS?
I’m sure there is some lame historical answer to this. I don’t care. It still doesn’t make sense. Of course the term “snake eyes” sounds cool, but “fox eyes” and “hawk eyes” and “shark eyes”? I accept this terminology. I have no choice in the matter. The problem is that I feel there is something iffy going on here.
(ONE) DID THE KOOL-AID COMPANY REPLACE ALL THOSE BRICK WALLS?
The Kool-Aid man would break down many walls of many places in order to spread his good sugar watery will onto the world. It didn’t matter where these kids were, school… home… church… funerals… doctor appointments… playing in the park. This creepy rotund red man would not only knock down these brick walls, that I assume were not replaced, but this creepy rotund red man ALWAYS knows where your kids are when they’re thirsty. The real question here is, why hasn’t the Kool-Aid Man been stopped?!
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