BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) THE APPEAL OF DANCING WITH THE STARS
I don’t get the appeal of watching non-strippers dance, but that’s a discussion for another day. If you really appreciate the “art” of dancing then you’d want to watch GOOD dancing, right? Hell… If you really appreciated the “art” of celebrity then you’d want to watch GOOD celebrities, right? If you answered yes to either of those then why the hell are you wasting time with Dancing With The Stars?
(THREE) NECK TATTOOS
I know people with neck tattoos. I continue to know them in spite of their collar branding. The neck tattoo is the ultra-trashy version of the tramp stamp. It seems like it’s mostly names of people. It’s great and awesome that you have a deep connection with someone to the point you want to etch their name in ink into your flesh as a walking billboard of admiration. Would an arm, leg, back, or even chest be any less of a dedication? No. Would it be easier for an employer to hire you? Yes.
(TWO) NEWS ITEM RACE WARS
Maybe it’s just the racist people that I’m friends with on facebook, but this goes back to myspace and always been an issue. When a news item happens with a black person, the more racist folk will go that extra step to brush over its relevance or make an asinine counterpoint. Whitney Houston died. Regardless of fandom or opinion of her, a loss is a loss to someone. Why be a dick about it and post shit about how many soldiers die? When the whole Hoodie and Skittles thing happened… same thing. Hell! When the US killed Bin Ladin these SAME people went out of the way to point out that Obama didn’t do “anything” and it was an AMERICAN soldier who did it. What is your problem? It’s 2012. You are a stupid human being.
(ONE) THE TERM “GROWN ASS MAN”
Why do defensive folks use the term “I’m a grown ass man!” when their status is questioned. Let’s look at this statement. You’re a grown, as in mature… ass, as in the place where farts come from… man, as not a woman. The term “I’m a grown man!” makes a lot more sense. Where, why, and how the fuck did the word “ass” sneak in there. I have on theory that involves the term being coined for the first time in text. The person was supposed to read it as “I’m a grown ass-man!” as in a mature ass-lover. Still a bit inappropriate… but still makes more sense than “I’m a grown ass man!” Nothing says maturity like making the English language look a foo’.
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