BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) TYE DYE
It’s not even that I miss stereotypical hippies, I just miss tye dye. I mean I don’t want to wear it or anything. I’m not about to look like I got lost while on tour with Phish. I just miss seeing tye dye more often. Would a simple tye dye shirt or two really hurt? Sadly, I have a feeling that since things always cycle that we’ll see a resurgence of tye dye in the near future. I’ll most likely see Rihanna wearing tye dye and completely change my mind on this.
(THREE) YO MAMA JOKES & EQUIVALENT HUMOR
I miss “yo mama” jokes. Fez from 70’s Show had that show on MTV, but it didn’t go the joke style any favor. I miss the jokes that would be told on the playground or in the middle of a game. I think I’m basically saying that I miss “White Men Can’t Jump”. I miss cheesy and vulgar insult humor. It’s like Lisa Lampanelli sucked all of the insult out of the comedy and made it her bitch.
(TWO) WIN, LOSE, OR DRAW
Back when people still used paper it was fun to doodle. There used to be a board game, game show, and just basic home-style version of it. Two teams square off in a contest of drawing whatever word they randomly get assigned. The teams then shout out words and guess what their silent team make is drawing. This sounds way lamer than I remember it being. But then again, we used paper back then.
(ONE) ONE TRASH CAN
I’m going to sound “old school dumb” here, but I miss the days of one trash can. It’s not that I’m saying I don’t want the world be to a better place, but recycling is a drag. We have to separate our trash because the companies that make our products are dickheads and can’t do their own part. Now instead of one big trash can we have multiple. It was just a simpler, yet less enviro-metal, time. I’m going to keep recycling and all of that stuff, but dammit… I miss one trash cash.
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