BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) “LOSING THE REMOTE” IS THE NEW AMERICAN PASTTIME.
We watch TV. So what? There is no harm in this. Since televisions have had remotes we have been losing them. There are literally generations of people who have lost the remote to their television. It’s one of those situations where technology has become part of our natural life and experience. They say the only guarantees are death and taxes, but I think we can add “losing the remote” to this exclusive list.
(THREE) THE JUSTICE LEAGUE WOULD TOTALLY BEAT DOWN THE AVENGERS
I’m not a hater. I thought The Avengers movie was a fun experience, but is it as good as its box office success? I don’t think so. They’re not even the coolest ensemble of comic book heroes. Does the Justice League ring ANY bells? Batman, Superman, Flash, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman? Yeah, I like Marvel too... but Justice League is like the 1992 Dream Team. (Christian Laettner = Wonder Woman)
(TWO) IF HILARY CLINTON WAS PRESIDENT RIGHT NOW INSTEAD OF PRESIDENT OBAMA, THE INTERNET WOULD BE AT LEAST 50% MORE OPENLY SEXIST.
Since our President has been a black man it’s given the closeted racists and even the not-so-closeted racists a reason to lash out at race. Race issues are brought up more and more. Internet “jokes” go out there about Obama pretty rampantly. Not about policy or personal quality… because he’s black. That’s where it always goes. OR if a black celebrity passes away there will be a dozen anti-celebrity/pro-America “memes” that go out. I never got the memo that mentioning or even being a little bummed by a celebrities death automatically meant you hated America. If Hilary had won, it would be the same thing except a lot more sexist. Imagine all the “barefooted and in the kitchen” comments we’d hear three years into her term. Dumb people are always a sure thing.
(ONE) IF GOD WAS A SUPERHERO, PEOPLE WOULD STILL HAVE TO CALL HIM “SUPER GOD”.
If God somehow got super powers, would we call him “Super God”? I think so. I would think if there were a higher power they’d want proper respect. Normal everyday God did all that stuff in the bible and then some. If he had superpowers I think it’s only right that when he’s in effect with this stuff we call him “Super God”. The real question is… if God could pick any super power.. what power would it be? Yeah… mind… BLOWN.
|
