BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) PUSH POPS
I refuse to look it up and find out I’ve misquoted the commercial for years. When I see or think about Push Pops I imagine a really hokey commercial with a kid shouting “Don’t push me! Push a push pop!” I can’t help but enjoy the random memory. This was like a sucker meets a lipstick. I can only imagine a random guy on shrooms pulling out a lipstick and eating it. Greatest mistake EVER? I think so!
(THREE) THE CASUAL MISUSE OF THE WORD “BET”
For a while you could hear youths use the word “bet” in any agreement, awkward pause, or farewell. You’d say “later” and they’d say “aight bet”. You’d say “So, you wanna get some pizza?” and they’d say “aight bet!” If you said nothing and took a deep sigh, eventually they’d say “aight bet”. I’m sure there is still some lingering “aight bet’s” out there, but not nearly enough.
(TWO) TOY SLOT MACHINES
This fad came and went pretty quickly. Before everyone started getting shitty home sets of “Texas Hold’em”, there was a quick fad of toy slot machines. It was maybe two years, but it just seemed like every store had a section for really cheap toy slot machines. I agree that slot machines are fun, but without the risk of financial loss or gain I don’t think they’d be all that thrilling. I wonder if this sentiment is why the fad died off.
(ONE) THE SEARS TOWER
I know there is this big gigantic building in Chicago that’s called “The Willis Tower”. Whatever. Who cares about that place? I’m talking about THE SEARS TOWER. That’s what it’s called. I don’t care if you want to call it the “Dudley Tower”, it’s not going to work. The name “Sears Tower” is part of what Chicago used to be. It’s ripping part of the cities identity. Maybe I’m over reacting here, but I shouldn’t think of a dozen “Diff’rent Strokes” jokes every time this massive structure is brought up. I respect The Sears Tower too much.
|
