BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) WHAT ARE BREAKDANCERS TAKING A BREAK FROM?
I enjoy the occasional novelty of a breakdancing session. The cardboard spread out, the spins, the style, and the music… all cool. But these people tend to seem unemployed. What are they taking a “break” from? Are they ballroom dancers, but decided to take a break and do this? Are they dancers doing dances only intended for people to watch while on break? If you’re going to use a silly term to describe something back it up.
(THREE) ARE BOOGYMEN ONLY AS POWERFUL AS YOUR IMAGINATION?
If boogymen are just figments of one’s imagination then wouldn’t the most imaginative kid have the worst boogyman? Is this why artistic people are crazy? Were they all tortured by the boogyman? Dumb kids aren’t scared because dumb kids couldn’t think up anything to be scared of. I’d really like some studies on this… NASA, you listening?
(TWO) WHY ARE SAFETY PINS SO SHARP?
It’s called a “safety pin”, but if you ever poke yourself with one it’ll hurt! What’s so “safe” about a safety pin? It’s basically a more difficult needle. I do find value in the actual item, but I think the name is really misleading. Safety scissors are sharp… why are safety pins?!
(ONE) WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?
Who? Who? Who? The Baha Men asked this question in one of the most annoying songs of all time. It wasn’t that it was bad, but it was overplayed to the point of extreme novelty. The problem here is that the song got embedding into pop culture. Everyone knows the chorus to this song… but NO ONE knows who really let the dogs out. Metaphor or not, I wanna know!
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