BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) AMBER ROSE
She has a nice figure, but what the hell are supposed to do here? She was with Kanye West for a while, she’s “that pretty girl with the bald head”, and now she’s “hey that’s that weird bald chick who’s dating that OTHER rapper”. Why are we supposed to talk about her? She might be a great person, but she’s famous because she hooked up with someone famous. I’m no Kardashian fan by any stretch, but Amber Rose is a watered down, less charismatic version of Kim K. Kim K is already the transparent version of Kim K… so that’s bad!
(THREE) THE LACK OF LATE NIGHT KID SHOWS
This isn’t THAT crazy of an idea. Why hasn’t Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, or some channel put on a “late night” talk show for kids. Have it come on at 9PM; get a good host, good segments, and bam! Kids would eat it up. Kids like pretending to be adults. I know I used to want to stay up late as a kid and watch the talk shows, why not just give them their own? They can push the new kid movies, shows, toys, etc. all in one zany show. End each episode with the host “going to sleep” so it encourages kids to go peacefully into their slumber. And for the kids who have to be in bed, replay in the morning before school! Consider this my “treatment”… now pay me! Chaaaaaa-Ching!
(TWO) THE SURVIVAL OF THE KU KLUX KLAN
Did the Klan decide to start hating someone different or did they just get super quiet? I know they’ve attempted to rally in some areas over the past ten to twenty years or so, but why? We know what they’re about. We know their cause. We know what their deal is. They don’t need to advertise all that much. But the idea of hating on a race is sooo outdated. So did the Klan switch to hating on gender preferences now? Is that it? Then again, there is always the Tea Party. What do I know?
(ONE) EXCESSIVE EXERCISE
Being healthy is awesome. People prefer to keep super trip and show muscle tone, but there is a point where it’s just too much. It’s easy to hate on a fat person for “not treating their body right”, but there is something just as bad, if not worse, in the people who work out to the point they’re all veins and muscles covered in skin. If we were trees those threes would have no branches, bark, or leaves. There is also the time issue. While fat people are risking death by indulging, the excessive exercisers are spending hours doing the same repetitive motions over and over again. How many hours, days, months, and years have people spent riding on an exercise bike? Read a book, take in a movie, and experience something other than posing topless in mirrors for Facebook friends. It’s just as gross and creepy as the people who post food of their home cooked meals.
|
