BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) WTF IS “NOM NOMS”?!
What in the blue hell is a “nom nom”? Why are people using this term to describe food? When did we decide this was okay? Was there a memo I didn’t get? If there is a recount anytime soon I vote “No”. People who call food “Nom Noms” should be the first people we feed to the bath salt zombie army.
(THREE) WIFE BEATERS, FOR REAL?
I always want to say that I hate people who wear wife beaters more than actual wife beaters. I don’t hate short sleeves, jerseys, or tank tops… I hate wife beaters. The flimsy barely fabric is just trash. A shirt made of the left over plastic from a fruit roll-up is less trashy. The smell is probably better too.
(TWO) DO SUPERHERO MOVIES HAVE TO BE BASED ON COMICS?
Why can’t anyone write a screenplay about a new superhero? The majority of the people who go to these super hero movies don’t read the comics to begin with. Sure we’re all familiar with certain iconic characters, but why are we limiting ourselves to this?
(ONE) WHY WOULDN’T YOU EAT “YOUR CAKE” IF YOU ALREADY HAVE IT?
I hate this saying. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too!” Why the fuck not? If someone has cake what else are they supposed to do with it? Why can’t they eat it? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to with cake? And the fact that the saying is “YOUR cake” makes it even worse. If it’s MY cake, let me do what I want with it. This whole thing is bullshit.
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