BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) IN-STORE POSTER BROWSING
I don’t know if this is still a thing. I used to love going into a random retail store, music store, or anywhere really and seeing the big and clunky display of posters. You’d have to flip through and look at the huge images. There would always be one or two posters that you’d miss out on and always want. You’d browse the same posters every time because it was just part of the shopping ritual. You just had to make sure no one saw you looking too long at one of those old Pam Anderson or Kathy Ireland posters. I feel old now.
(THREE) NEW COKE
Coca-Cola is one of the biggest brand names of all time. It’s sugary candy soda water has been part of our pastime forever and has become a household name across the planet. Everyone loves the classic commercials with the Polar Bears, football players, and the hippies holding hands. Sadly, the time frame when Coke decided to up their game to make “NEW COKE” was a time when I was just too young to appreciate it. I remember it and I remember “Coke II” in the early 90’s. Tell me old folks, what was it like to have a “RUM AND NEW COKE!” or even a “RUM AND COKE… II!”?
(TWO) SCRATCH AND SNIFF STICKERS
I don’t really need stickers in my life, but I’d like to think back to a better time. Those better times include scratch and sniff stickers. In my young school days it was a big deal. The cheap looking sticker would have something lame on it like fruit or a tomato riding a skateboard. And it’s not even a cool tomato; it’s one with a lame helmet and a shitty smirk. No dragons. No skulls. No bad ass eagles. None of this mattered though once you got scratching. Once the scratching gets good, the sniffing gets great. Faint smells reminiscent of something kind of like the lame fruit or bubble gum image is the reward. If things were only that easy…
(ONE) MTV “BUMPER” PROMOS
I miss MTV being relevant. I’m not going to be lame and be “that guy” who makes the redundant statement like “I miss when MTV actually showed music!” MTV hasn’t shown music in so long that this is a moot point. Still, it’s fun to reflex back and miss it. All of those cool “I Want My MTV” promos were one thing, but I’m specifically talking about those weird space men on the moon promos, the weird Claymation ones, the Denis Leary rants, and all of those little promos that made MTV what it was. Sadly, people stopped being cool and MTV had to answer to the supply and demand needs of mentally challenged people who want their Jersey Shore and other reality show garbage. It’s not that they’re not showing music, they’re showing the worst common denominator of programming.
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