BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) COULD ZOMBIE’S JUST BE SLEEPY CANNIBALS?
A cannibal is already lusting to eat human flesh. What if one woke up and was drowsy as he limped down a street? Of course it would be safe to assume that zombies could just be sleepy cannibals. Next time the zombies show up to attack just scream at them “WAKE UP!” I bet we’d all be surprised with the results.
(THREE) WHAT IF THE DUDE WHO “BRINGS A KNIFE TO A GUN FIGHT” IS REALLY GOOD AT THROWING KNIVES?
I hate lame sayings from back in the day. One that always irked me was the idea of “it’s like bringing a knife to a gun fight”. I understand it’s saying you’re showing up to a fight unprepared as the other guy. But I think it’s too general. What if the guy who brings the knife is like a ninja and the guy with the gun is a horrible shot? How smart and sage is your wisdom now, bitch?
(TWO) WHY DIDN’T WHITE PEOPLE STEAL THE HEADDRESS IDEA?
When the white Europeans came to America and stole the land, food, and lives of the Native Americans they really jacked their swagger. The kept the modern contraptions of their time, but took the Indian ways and used them to their advantage. Why didn’t white people steal the head dress idea? A Native American head dress is a beautiful thing. How much cooler would things be if more of our historical figures rocked a headdress of feathers?
(ONE) WHY ARE YOU READING THIS?
You gotta have something better to do… Just saying.
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