BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) THE LACK OF BOWLING
Why did bowling not catch on as much as it should? Granted it’s not the most athletic of sports, but I feel it’s more so than racing a car around a track and everyone loves and accredits NASCAR. Bowling is something anyone with access to a bowling alley can do. It’s “something to do” and something to have fun with. It’s more than just a hobby for lonely boring people. It used to be a sport. Let’s get ourselves a bowling star to get behind! My pick is Bill Murray from Kingpin.
(THREE) GRAPE FLAVOR NOT TASTING LIKE GRAPES
Apples kind of taste like apples. Orange tastes like orange. Bananas, pears, peach, and cherry all taste like what they are. If you drink a flavored drink, eat some candy, or even light a candle. This stuff has a distinct smell that is close to the fruit it’s coming from. Not grapes! Grapes do NOT taste anything like the flavor. Don’t believe me? Eat a grape and then eat a grape Jolly Rancher… tell me otherwise!
(TWO) CANTALOUPE
Why the eff would anyone want to eat a cantaloupe? It’s plate dressing at most. The freshest of cantaloupe still tastes a little off and smells a little like a real melon that is starting to rot. There is nothing enjoyable about this. There are plenty of better melons to choose from than this crap. If you like cantaloupe and go out of your way for it then you’re suspect in my eyes to be a creep ass creep. You a creep ass creep? Huh? Fess up!
(ONE) THE LACK OF EVOLUTION IN BULLET PROOF VESTS
I’ve seen plenty of cop dramas and action movies. I know how valuable a bullet proof vest is in a big time shoot out. My question is why hasn’t this been upgraded? Why isn’t there a bullet proof jacket to go with this vest? How about pants? Hell, a hat?! Why are we focusing so much on the “vest”? I think we got that part taken care of. Let’s not get shot anywhere! Common sense, folks!
|
