BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) SPONTANEOUS BREAK DANCING
We don’t see enough break dancing anymore. In the 80’s the whole concept of break dancing was really taking off. Pop culture ate that shit up. After a while it slowly dwindled down. I know break dancing still exists out there, but it’s not in the form of back-up dancing to shitty pop music or some shmuck “dancing” on some dance competition show. It makes my stomach hurt. Is it because people aren’t using as much cardboard?
(THREE) “EXTREME” PRODUCTS
In the late 90’s, the word took on the buzz word of “extreme”! Like snarky soccer moms saying “Really?!” now and “You Go Girl!” the word “Extreme” was tossed around by everyone. Dare I say it was EPIC, definitely not EPIC FAIL. There are always these kinds of verbal trends. Buzz words are just a natural thing. Back then, it was “extreme”. I recall brands amping up their stuff or at least claiming to and adding a “EXTREME!” or “XTREME!” tag to it. Doritos, Taco Bell, Mountain Dew, Toilet Paper, Skateboarding… it was all EXTREEEEEEEME!
(TWO) ANGRY ROCK MUSIC
Rage Against The Machine. Slipknot. System of a Down. Hell, Metallica. Megadeth. Etc. Rock music has evolved and changed, but you’d never thing the anger would be taken away. It seems so these days. Unless you want to listen to growling speed metal or stuff considered “oldies” now then you’re shit out of luck. There is plenty to be angry about in the world, but contemporary music now revolves around down tempo moods and carbon copy Woodstock rejects. It’s as if the idea of rebelling is being rebelling against… whoa.
(ONE) DUNSTON CHECKS IN!
It’s not that I want to go back and watch this movie. I don’t. I miss the idea OF this movie. The days of nice kids getting to hang out with monkeys are over. The kids in movies now are either little assholes or little neurotic dweebs. And the monkey? Yeah right! Pop culture only allows monkeys to show up in ironic senses. The kid in Dunston Checks In was a normal little dude who wasn’t having a good time at a hotel until he started being friends with a monkey. There is nothing ironic, no lame trendy childhood book to ruin, and no false intentions. Screw it. I DO want to watch this movie.
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