BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) CAR WINDOW HANDLES
I know car window handles are STILL out there. There are plenty of older cars and even some newer with this old style crank system. I’ve heard the argument that if they get stuck you’re screwed if you MUST open it. The whole task of leaning forward to roll up a car window was a chore, especially when you have little kid arms. It’s not even a laziness thing. It was mainly a “I’m scared to reach for this because if the car jerks I’m going to get messed up” type of thing. Even as an adult, it’s a silly thing. Working a crank like that is just a silly visual. Air is free, dammit. Don’t make me work for it!
(THREE) SURGE
This was a Coke product that was their attempt to go against The Dew, but they failed. For the longest time I thought his was like Jolt Cola, but the Mountain Dew kind. The packaging made it look like it had A LOT OF EXTREME SUGAR and that if could be used to clean oil stains out of your drive way.
(TWO) SEINFELD
Seinfeld is one of the best shows of all time. The characters, the stories, and all of the fun history are there. It’s a show that’ll be forever in syndication and loved by new viewers for pretty much ever. The problem is that most of us have seen every episode more than enough times. Then there are those of us who have seen the better and more entertaining “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and have been spoiled. I just don’t see a big need for anything new Seinfeld related. Shows come back and have reunions all the time. I’m good with Seinfeld staying away while everyone involved does new stuff that I can support and watch through fresh eyes.
(ONE) GADZOOKS
Gadzooks was like a douche bag version of Hot Topic. They had tons of graphic tee shirts that were “edgy” at the time. They had to be one of the first places I saw a “Female Booty Inspector” kind of shirt. It wasn’t JUST that though. They had more than their assortment of shirts. They had stylized belts, exotic sandals, music videos playing on a loop, and pretty much anything aimed towards stupid teenagers. That said, I gave them plenty of my stupid teenager money. Probably on sunglasses too. Ugh.
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