BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) POLICE CODES
It seems like all the police codes are just made up. I know some of them make sense. I know 187 is murder, but I think it’s mostly because of rap music. Rap music put the police code 187 on the map. I always heard rumors that 420 was the weed code, but I think that’s just a myth. I’m just pretty sure it’s all a ruse. They just say some numbers, go somewhere and handle the law as they see it. If something bad is happening somewhere I’d hope a cop would go there regardless of what numbers are said to them.
(THREE) LIVING DAY TO DAY
Why do people say they are “living day to day”? Unless you’re in a coma or time traveling EVERYONE does that regardless. If people truly live “day to day”, they’d be living outside and not have ANY possessions. If you have ANYTHING saved or anything prepared for the next day you’re not living day to day. If you do laundry, hell if you HAVE more clothes than what you’re wearing… you’re living for tomorrow at least a little bit. If you think I’m wrong then give me your money and possessions. Then you can live “day to day”… jerk!
(TWO) “DON’T KNOCK IT UNTIL YOU TRY IT”
People who say “Don’t knock it until you try it” obviously screw doors. I’ve never drank bleach, but I know I don’t want to and that I shouldn’t. So screw you man, I WILL knock it. Why would anyone “knock” anything other than a door? So my theory here is that the people who say this crap are creepy jerks who have sex with doors. They’re fetish is to have sex with the door and THEN knock on it. It’s kinky, but who are WE to judge? I just wish they’d stop trying to push their agenda to the children. Ban Door marriage today!
(ONE) NO QUESTIONS THE PIRATE CHEST
People are always excited to see what’s inside a pirate chest, but no one ever asks why these dudes are carrying around a big ass jewelry box. I know they want to get jewels and valuables, but was there no other way to transport it? A simple box or case wouldn’t work? You can’t use a lot of bags to make it easier to move quickly? A big fancy pirate chest is a little on the lame side. These pirates are supposed to be manly men who wear fancy blouses and spend months on boats together… OH! Wait! I get it now!... Well, I’m happy they can get married in some states!
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