BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) WHY IS IT CALLED A GLOVE BOX?
I know we all need a place to put our gloves, but how many of us actually put our gloves in the glove department? It’s where we keep paperwork, random napkins, and it’s basically the “junk drawer” of the car. Why don’t we just call it the “junk box?” Is it because we’re supposed to keep our “junk in the trunk”? Ugh!
(THREE) IS THERE ENOUGH BUG FUNERALS?
People get all emotional about dogs, cats, horses, and other animals dying. There is even that episode of Cosby where they have the funeral for Rudy’s fish. It’s not a bad idea. People get attached to their pets and need the closure of saying goodbye. The problem is that it’s not equal footing. When are there EVER bug funerals? Is it because they are “pests” and we kill so many of them? Is that really “right”? C’mon! It’s either all animals and creatures get a funeral or none. No compromise!
(TWO) WHY DO WE SAY “MONDAY NIGHT” AND NOT JUST “MONNIGHT”?
This one is a weird one to think about, but it makes sense. We say stuff like “Monday Night Football” like it’s just a common wording. But let’s think about this. Every 24 hours consists of day and night, but for some reason “day” is always included. We appreviate the names of each day to be “Mon, Tues, Weds, Thurs, Fri, Sat, and Sun”… we don’t use “day” unless we say it or want to really promote it. Why not Monnight, Tuesnight, Wednesnight, Thursnight, Frinight, etc.”? Why!?
(ONE) WHEN DID EVERYONE DECIDE JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT WAS GREAT?
I like Joseph Gordon-Levitt and enjoy his work. I want to get that out of the way because it’s an important thing to bring up. At the same time, when did everyone decide that he’s “great”? It seems like around Inception or even before it for 500 Days of Summer, everyone got together, had a big meeting and a vote, and decided that we all love this guy. I mean I get it, he’s lovable and talented but I can’t think of a specific “career defining” role yet. At this point, he’s got tons of potential and a great filmography but claiming you’ve been a fan “since 3rd Rock” is a bunch of shit. Where were you when Brick came out or The Lookout? Huh? Huh? Huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
|
