BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) SPORTS
It’s shitty outside, but it doesn’t matter because we have plenty to watch and cheer for. Right now we get the NFL, NBA, NHL, WWE, and then college sports all on TV. That gives the average sports fan more of a chance to be happy because your odds are up that at least one of your local teams will have at least some success or at least something to rally behind. Either way, go local colored shirt! Go!
(THREE) AIR
I like breathing. It’s a necessary thing so why not enjoy it? Fresh air is awesome. After smoking cigarettes for years, I can assure you breathing in fresh air is MUCH better than nicotine soaked air. So yeah, even if you have nothing to be thankful for you in your life, take a deep breath… yeah, your welcome!
(TWO) TURKEY MURDER
What good are turkeys? What do they contribute to the world. Cows at least produce fertilizer and graze, but what does a turkey add to the food cycle? So yeah, this is why we eat them. It gives them a purpose and gives us a good sleepy-sized full belly of yumminess. That’s right, “a good sleepy-sized full belly of yumminess”. I said it!
(ONE) FAMILY
I guess. I mean, sometimes… right? We all love our family. We might not like them all the time, but the love is there. It’s the whole “you can’t hate on them, only I can” type of thing. No matter the bullshit drama, the Holidays are chances to turn that part of your brain off and just enjoy people’s company… or at least put up with it. Whatever works!
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