BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) PRINCE
Remember when Prince was the awesomest? I know Prince is still around. I’ve heard his last few albums and it’s been fun and all, but it’s not the same Prince that I grew up with. When you’re around a Prince song when you’re a kid, it’s uncomfortable and then as you grow older and older the song starts to make more and more sense until finally you get it and embrace it. I don’t hear this in recent Prince albums at all. There’s some soul and some good tunes, but nothing that sparks a level of uncomfortableness to where it makes you question your maturity and morals. I know he’s changed as a person and all that, but his music has devolved into something so tame that no amount of soul can safe it.
(THREE) SLAP BRACLETS
Remember the little strip of thin metal wrapped in cheap fabric or plastic or plastic fabric that you literally had to slap over your wrist for it to close up? These bracelets ended up being considered dangerous after so long because of the sharp edges of some models and the fact that it could CUT A CHILD. This didn’t matter or change anything. When you’re in grade school, you are indestructible. This brand of fashionable shrapnel was the very definition of “youth”, if you ask me.
(TWO) ECTO-COOLER
Remember this novelty Hi-C drink? It was a promotional tie-in with The Ghostbusters cartoon and featured Slimer on the cover. I remember this tasting magical and as a kid it being the official drink of choice. We’d get it in those big cans that had to be punctured by the sharp side of a can opener. It was a hit at parties at school, Birthday parties, and pretty much anywhere. I thought it was gone for a long time, but apparently it stuck around for awhile. It lasted until 2001, when it was renamed “Shoutin’ Orange Tangergreen” and then in 2006 renamed as “Crazy Citrus Cooler” before being discontinued in 2007. The world needs it’s ecto-cooler so I can only hope this returns… SOON!
(ONE) TGIF
Remember when staying home on a Friday night made you cool? I’m talking the “TGIF” sitcom line up on ABC. Back in the day, ABC was the place to go to for good sitcoms. For awhile I remember the line up being Full House, Family Matters, Step By Step, and Hanging With Mr. Cooper. I know there were other variations over the years. I’m pretty sure Boy Meets World, Dinosaurs, and possibly even Perfect Strangers all had their time as part of this historic line up. There was just something about those shows. It was like the comfort food equivalent to family entertainment. It’d be cool to see maybe ABC Family rebroadcast some original TGIF line ups on Friday nights. I’d bet they’d be on to something at least mildly more successful than whatever they show now.
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