BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) JESSE VENTURA
I like Jesse Ventura. His contributions of professional wrestling were good. As a wrestler, he was kind of average but as an announcer he was gold. He held political office and has had a great deal of success over the years in various fields. Now he has this show called “Conspiracy Theory”. I watched a good portion of the first season and it’s entertaining. He and his team uncover and dig deep into famous and not so famous conspiracy theories. It’s good and all, but Ventura takes himself way too seriously for my liking. He comes off douchey and if you didn’t know (from him mentioning it every five minutes) he was a Navy SEAL!
(THREE) TONY DANZA
His show seems almost too good to be true. It’s a reality show about Tony Danza becoming a teacher at an “urban school” in Philadelphia. The man who was in two iconic TV shows, “Taxi” and “Who’s The Boss” was now going into a random high school and teaching 10th grade English. I am hoping Mona makes an appearance as the evil principal.
(TWO) STEVEN SEAGAL
Steven Seagal is a monster. This action star had tons of hit movies back in the day. His cold stare and pony tail made are only two of the trademarks he has. He’s also a cop. He’s been working as an officer in Louisiana for twenty years. He claims to of been accredited in California, but there is no proof the claims. Lucky for him in Louisiana, it’s not needed. So he goes around serving and protecting while a camera crew follows. It’s like COPS meets late 80’s action movie… literally!
(ONE) BRET MICHAELS
I’m happy for Bret that he is overcoming serious illness, but he still sucks. Bret Michaels has starred in more reality shows than he has released solo albums. Sure he was famous in the 80’s as the lead singer of “Poison”, but after that it’s been dive bar tour after dive bar tour. Then out of nowhere VH1 gives him the “Rock of Love” show and he’s back in the spotlight. On this show they get random women, mostly of the whoreish variety, and let Bret have his way with them until he decides on a winner. He did this for a few seasons and then landed the Celebrity Apprentice spot. On there, he did well and made it to the end. That’s when his illness hit and it pretty much put him in the headlines for about two weeks and everyone loves him again. The dude who was banging sluts on VH1 for a few years is now the “aw-shucks family man” that warms the hearts of millions. To capitalize on this, VH1 is making ANOTHER Bret Michaels reality show. This time a serious, dramatic, heartwarming one about him and his family called “Life As We Know It”. Blah.
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