BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) GANGSTAS WITH PACIFIERS
I remember the short few year period where it was considered cool by the hip hop community to suck on pacifier. I think it started as a joke, but I have seen people with my own two eyes in the early 90’s do this. I can almost understand wearing your Cross Colors backwards, but the pacifier thing always made me laugh. Mark my words, this is going to be brought back by someone. My money is on Kanye.
(THREE) TRASHY DAY TIME TELEVISION
Today if you turn on one of the basic TV channels you’re doing to see a few of the same types of shows. You’ll find your judge shows, your random doctor advice shows, and Ellen. It’s horrible. Back in the day the variety of filth was much grander. We had Jerry Springer before the censoring, Ricki Lake, Richard Bey, Sally Jesse, more slutty soap operas than you could handle, and the occasional game show. It’s just proof that the soccer mom has taken over the world and slowly and surely we’re going to be required by LAW to wear a jacket in weather under 60 degrees. Mother would want it this way.
(TWO) SAVED BY THE BELL
Is there any reason we’re not getting a Saved By The Bell reunion? I’m not saying put the show back on, but that’d be cool too. What I’m saying is give us a made for TV movie or something cool like that. What’s up with Zack and Kelly? Are they still married? Did Screech and Lisa ever officially hook up? Did Slater and Jesse ever cross paths? How involved was Mr. Belding in their lives? Do they have kids? What’s their careers? How did the Bush administration affect these Bayside graduates? These are things we MUST know!
(ONE) RADIO KNOBS
Radio knobs. Remember when you had to actually twist a knob every so precisely to get the right radio station tuned in. It was sometimes a bitch, sometimes an art, and a way more hands on experience than pressing a button to “scan”. When you have to deal with knobs it’s like you’re doing something more than just listening to music. You’re on a hunt and with your crafty skills of tuning; you WILL hear the song you want. It’s an analog experience that’s going to be extinct within a few years.
|
