BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
(FOUR) TAYLOR SWIFT
I don’t get it. She’s attractive and has a pleasant voice. I understand that much is mostly all you need any more for a label to throw money at you. She’s a pop star under the country music guise. I’ve heard her music and on a completely objective listen it’s some of the most boring music I’ve had the misfortune of listening to. It sounds good, but lacks hook and substance. It’s background music with a pretty face. That another issue. As attractive as she is, it’s hard to take that aspect serious because she always looks sleepy and scared. She’s like if Olive Oil from Popeye had an extreme makeover.
(THREE) VITAMIN WATER
I don’t get it. It tastes like watered down kool-aid with no sugar. If you’re that deficient in your daily vitamin intake that you can only get it through drinking this over-priced lightly-flavored water then you deserve the cramps, poor skin, and iffy health. Drink some juice. Eat some fruit. Don’t be a douche.
(TWO) JESSE JAMES
I don’t get it. Is Jesse James the new K-Fed? Think about it. Both are pretty much famous for being married to attractive and successful women. K-Fed was around doing back up dancing and stuff like that while James had a little bit more notoriety for his reality show stuff. Still, kind of minimal. Then Jesse James cheats and he is on the TV and computer screen of just about everyone across the land. Then we’re forced to deal with menial updates on the dude and his other random relationships. Why should we care? At least K-Fed was more entertaining than watching puke dry.
(ONE) BACKHANDED PEACE SIGNS
I don’t get it. 1991 called and it wants its Cross Color era pose back. With this day and age of social media we are able to share a helluva lot more pictures than before. There are those who post new pictures every day about people and events that no one cares about. It’s cool you went to the store. Why am I being alerted to an update telling me pictures of you in the cereal aisle are available for my viewing pleasure? Fine. I know what I’m getting into and if I really wanted to not look, I wouldn’t. It’s a price paid for social networking in this era. But for the love of all things good in the world… PLEASE STOP THE BACK HANDED PEACE SIGN. Stop. This backhanded peace sign dilemma is rampant in more and more age groups. The typical culprit is of the female variety. Extra points when it’s a female in a picture with more females. Even more points if the person doing it has a flat billed hat.
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