It's that joyous time of year again. After the hustle and bustle of Christmas, the celebration that is New Year's Eve and the easily forgetful and inconveniently mail-less MLKJr Day, we are officially in BLACK HISTORY MOTNH mode!
Black people, feel free to go "HAM" this entire month. White people, break out your wine corks and prep your black-face soot, because it's on like Donkey Kong.
Since music is a universal language, I've decided to construct a Black History Month playlist that should evoke emotions ranging from militant rebellion to introspective reflection on how meaningful this month should be to people of ALL creeds and colors. Don't get it twisted fam, this is probably the going to be the greatest Black History Month playlist in the history of Black History Month playlists, so get your itunes account ready for some serious downloading action and let Evans From The Heavens take you on a musical journey with. . . . .
The Evans From The Heavens Black History Month Playlist
1.) Nigger Hatin' Me by David Allan Coe
Let's just get this one outta the way first. Songs like this is the type of leverage that presents me with the opportunity to even create this list. This song is about as racist as you can get. With such loving and politically correct lines as "...a man named King, and it's no doubt, he's causing lots of trouble with his baboon mouth", how can you not love this hateful little ditty. Let's file this under the genre Confederate folk music. If you watch the video, pay attention to the jack ass grooving to this jam. There's nothing more adorable than white people listening to racist music with no black people around to monitor them. Let's file him under the group Fuck Boys. Enjoy.
2.) Nigga Nigga Nigga by some random niggas
Now songs like THIS is the type of leverage that presents people like David Allan Coe with the opportunity to create songs like the one that precedes this one. This song is amazingly self explanatory and completely out of control. If you are into artists such as The Roots, Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Green Day, or anyone who has a brain, this track may not be the song for you. If you are a fan of Waka Flocka, mistrel shows, or standing in line at government assistance facilities eating watermelon slices and quoting lines from Tyler Perry movies, turn your fucking speakers up. Bama bama bama!!!!!!
3.) I'm a Slave 4 U by Britney Spears
If there was ever anyone from this current era who could successfully embody the black man's thoughts on his position in pre-emancipation life through popular song, it's Britney bitch. How ironic, America's number one Snow Bunny drops this political gem flawlessly. Some people have tried to say this song is about dancing and sex, but, as a black man with a weakness for female caucasoids with well endowed rumps, I know better. Why this song never won an NAACP award is beyond me. On behalf of all African-Americans who appreciate Britney's vuluptuous and juicy thoughts on racial awareness, we thank you.
4.) Cotton Fields by The Beach Boys
You know, it's hard for me to wrap my brain around this song, which is why I chose it. So what you're telling me is that when the Beach Boys are feeling jaded by the crazy complexities of laying out on the beach all day singing lame surfer songs, they think of their country roots which are symbolized by cotton fields? I'm so glad that the sheer thought of the thousands of fields of cotton in Louisiana gives them such a warm and fuzzy feeling. It's like the one guy who had an awesome and productive day on 9/11 singing about how happy it makes him to reminisce about the morning the towers fell. I wouldn't be surprised if this was an old negro spirtual that the Beach Boys covered, but still. Maybe if the Boys of summer paid more attention to their children and grandchildren, and the possibility of in house molestation instead of trying to make slave hymns you can tan to, this world would be a better place.
5.) The Slave Song from Wonder Showzen
First off, love the show Wonder Showzen. That was not a realization on my part, it was a command to you. LOVE IT! Now! Why should you? Besides the fact that it's hilarious, it's educational. This song proves my point. Short and to the point, this song displays the proper appreciation slaves have deserved for months, maybe even years. The great thing about it, it's not only for black slaves, but all slaves in the history of slavedom. "Wait, there were other slaves besides black ones?" Precisely, and no matter what type of slave you relate to, they all deserve a little bit of credit. Indentured servants can go jump off a cliff and get their OWN song, this one's for the non-union slaves. Holla!
6.) Whip It by Devo
This is probably more of a motivational song for the management division of slavery, but still a good song. Maybe had this song existed back then, being whipped would have been a little easier. How can you be angry or sad while Devo sings? BVMTV Alternative would not allow me to embed the video so I had to embed devo's live performance on the Jimmy Kimmel Show. i urge you however to just go to You Tube and watch the actual music video of this song. Imagine alien slave drivers landing on planet Earth outside of a log cabin, giving a seminar on slave productivity as a bunch of cowboys look in amazement. Yeah, that's pretty much the video. Lots a whip cracking, with not a negro in sight. That's how slavery SHOULD'vE been.
7.) Lincoln Freed Me Today by Joan Baez
I am about to enrage hipsters worldwide with this next statement. Joan Baez should leave introspective songs of racial awareness to the professionals, like Britney Spears. There! I said it. I'm sorry, it's just awkward hearing the very first line of this song. "Been a slave all my life". Really? You're a folk singing hippie white woman from Staten Island New York, which last time i checked is probably the most extreme opposite of a slave you can be. Don't get me wrong. I completely comprehend and slightly appreciate her intentions. Using the lyrics to tell the story from the point of view of a slave as to raise civil rights and racial sensitivity, blah blah blah, but it's just weird, besides the fact that it's one of those old rickety depressing folk songs, which adds to it's creepiness. This is the type of coffee house rock bullshit (coupled with what I would imagine has to be really good weed) that gave birth to hipsters thinking they know shit they couldn't possibly know in the first place. Again, I didn't even bother doing any extensive research on the origins of this song, but it could quite possibly be another situation where an overly liberal pale activist took a slave song and bleached it. I am not against that kind of thing, if done well, however, this is not one of those well done moments.
8.) Don't Call Me Nigga Whitey by Sly and the Family Stone
Leave it to the Jews to not allow me to illegally download or freely share this awesome song. This was another one that was hard to find an embed code to the original Sly and The Family Stone track. Talk about a motherfucking GROOVE. This song, mostly jam band instrumentally, spits a simple and straight forward chorus. "Don't call me niggaaaaaaaa, whitey! Don't call me whiteyyyyyyy, Nigga!" The music is a gift from Sly and his fam for any garage band because of it's simple groove and eclectic covering potential. This song just plain brings whites and blacks together in an aggressive and passive fashion all at once. Want proof, check the video below, which is a cover of this song at Lollapalooza 1991 by Jane's Addiction and Ice-T (pre LawSI or whatever the fuck it is he does while CoCo is showing her shit off on the internet).
9.) White Girl by Young Jeezy ft. USDA
There's only a few things that us black men love more than chicken and bragging on our dicks. I'll give you 3 right now. White girls, bragging about the profit we've made from selling drugs, and comparing the drugs we sell to white girls. These aren't opinions, these are statistical facts people. The second most hood accolade (or ANY accolade for that matter) Christina Aguilera could've ever recieved is having her name be code for cocaine. It's like a full circle kind of thing. For years, white men sold us and our families, so it's only natural that once freed, we find a dangerous narcotic the same color as our oppressors (give or take a shade) and sell THAT, right? this reminds me of a convo I had with a Canadian woman.
Canadian woman: So what is it that makes black guys lust after white girls so much?
Me: I don't know, probably because they're managable.
Canadian woman: Yeah? That's what my ancestors thought about you guys, and we see how THAT turned out.
10.) Lift Every Voice And Sing by James Weldon Johnson & John Rosamond Johnson
This fucking song was force fed to me as a child with relentless guilt ridden persistence. Because I went to a majority black school, at one point, we had to sing this in addition to NAtional Anthem and the Pledge Of Allegiance. as a child, this song had a slight creepy vibe to it, at least to me at age 10. With what I know now, it's safe to say that as a child, I was probably in full agreeance with the seperation of school and church. I don't know, just the thought of going to school all week, then here comes the weekend. In my house, Saturday consisted of being dragged around by my mother as she ran errands that unfortunately never involved a fucking toy story. This sucked because I knew I still had to get up early on Sunday to go to church, which sucked after a full night of sneaking and watching SNL all night. So fine, I go to church on Sunday, which makes me long for Monday even more. Much to my immature dismay, Monday morning comes, and now I gotta sing another damn church song? Booty! Just saying, that's how I felt as a child. i realize there are many different versions of this song, but as you will see in the following video, and I might speak for alot of black people who were at one time black children, THIS is how I remember (or barely remember) the song. Enjoy.
