BY KEITH EVANS
It is officially November. . .
That's just great.
Time for the holiday chaos to begin rearing its hideous head. People driving like maniacs because they aren't used to this winter concept called snow. The hardcore shoppers losing all civilized conduct due to their need to access any and everything tangible and materialistic. The masses preparing to put on their fakest displays of courtesy and friendliness because they've been raised to believe that the holidays is a time for you to abandon any true emotions you have for the sake of being cordial, albeit insincere. I feel like Jesus is somewhere thinking; "Great. Another birthday ruined".
On a positive note, its boot season for women. Anyone who knows me knows I have a bit of a thing for women walking around the city in fashionable boots. I wouldn't call it a fetish, but there's something about heeled boots that increases the hotness of the women who wear them (this totally edging out the anticipation for female summer wear, in my opinion). Also, snow. I love snow.
Yep, it's officially November, but just as the questioned was posed to me by a friend of mine on facebook; "Where did October go?”
Well, seeing as October IS my favorite month, (simply because I was born in it), I'd like to take you down a bit of what I deem as short term memory lane. Let us reminisce the random happenings of the "Big O" and see just how silly we look. Perhaps this will prepare some of you for the ridiculous events that may wrap up 2010.
Now, take in consideration, I literally missed the entire first half of October, due to my legal "coma" and all. A lot of this was a matter of playing "catch up" once I was released. These events also are not ranked in any particular order, which is appropriate for someone like me who prefers disorder (to a certain extent).
Gay Bullies
So apparently cyber bullies are mainstream, AGAIN. Now, don't get me wrong, for I am not necessarily anti-bullying. I view bullying as a part of American culture. I mean, if countries were high school students, are we not the Biff Tanner of the world? Of course we are. I was bullied in school, as I also did my share of bullying. Some of the best musicians are a result of being a victim of school day tormenting. Obviously there's a line between run of the mill bullying and flat out hate crimes (though sometimes I feel the line is sometimes thinner or broader than it should be, depending on the person bitching about it). Tis not the simple act of bullying I am against, but the act of "cyber" bullying. Any random ass clown (be it the cliché insecure bully or some wimp poser) can "bully" someone from the internet. It really takes an eighth of a person to act tough via World Wide Web. As the great entertainer Vince Vaughn might put it; "Cyber bullying is gay". What could be gayer than cyber bullying? Uhm, I got it, the weak minded suckers who are victimized by it. I mean seriously? With all due respect to the friends and family of people like Phoebe Prince, I don't think committing suicide was even close to necessary as far as solutions go. Who the eff cares what somebody says about you on the internet? It's the damned internet. And as dumb and foolish as it may be for someone to spread rumors (or truths), embarrass others by name calling, or even suggest that your target "kill themselves" on the web, how dumb or foolish is the person that actually cries about it, or, God forbid, accepts the suggestion and take their own life. Obviously that "target" has mental handicaps in the first place, and guess what? That's why people pick on you! It's all so gay. And speaking of the word gay, get over it. Gay has many definitions at this point. If I were to cry every time I heard some wannabe gang banging suburban Caucasian or one of those "I can play both sides of the black/white issue" Hispanic using the word "nigga", I just might bully myself into a proper suicide. How about the age old notion of gay meaning happy. So I guess all the happy people should've started protesting against homosexuals when THEY started using the term for themselves. Gay can refer to a homosexual, or to be happy. It can also mean acting unnecessarily dumb about things that don't require so much attention. Hell, as of late, I've used it in the sense of having a huge crush on somebody or something, i.e.; "I'm so gay for Mexican food". Nobody owns words; with the exception of Lil Wayne and Gene Simmons (you can figure that reference out yourself). Connotation is key. Now that that's over, can we all stop acting so gay about everything? I'm so GLAAD we had this talk.
. . . speaking of gay. . . .
The "alleged" Glee Controversy
 
Glee, probably the gayest show on television, and I don't mean that in a negative way because I did faithfully watch the entire first season without fail. I enjoyed it. From what I hear, the second season is way more "what musical catalog should we rob" focused and less well written, but hey, everybody sells out eventually. Glee is definitely a pop culture staple, and with that comes the decision to push the envelope every once in awhile. So 3 of Glee's main characters; Lea Michele (whom I particularly think is incredibly hot), Cory Montieth, and Diana Agron appear on the cover of GQ. Scantily clad isn't the term I'm looking to use. Neither is naked. However, just as scheduled, lots of people are bitching about the photo spread. I've read that some people are actually claiming it to be borderline pedophilia, yet the actor/actresses true ages are a "none issue". Since when is age a non issue when in reference to pedophilia? That's like saying being gay or lesbian has nothing to do with same sex attraction. Makes no sense. Now, I'm sure you realize this is simply a rerun. Remember when Britney Spears was the "Glee" of the early 2000's? Remember when she posed for the cover of Rolling Stone magazine? There's something extremely monumental about what happened after that "controversy". What happened was, we got over it. Same procedure here. It's not that serious. These chics on the show, be you a fan or not, are hot. Hot people get put on the cover of magazines. Millions of people buy these magazines because hot people are on them. The more provocative the dress, the more magazines sold. It's a simple equation that will not cease based on a bunch of cry baby protesters complaining for the sake of complaining. That's the thing about complaining, eventually, you get over it, so why even waste valuable time, which could be used improving yourself, by wasting it on being upset about something that literally doesn't matter? Wait, isn't that what blogging's about?
. . . speaking of things we get over. . .
The West Is Yet To come
What a difference 365 days make. One full year ago, it seemed like over half of the country wanted to storm toward Kanye West's home with pitch forks, bats and torches. How could he ruin the moment of a pure little innocent American sweetheart like Taylor Swift, fully for the benefit of explaining something to the world that the world already knew. Sure, we were all thinking it. We all knew that Beyonce's Single Ladies was a far better and more successful video than whatever song Swift snatched the award with. It was always my argument that Kanye's only problem (besides and excess amount of Hennessy) was that he was all ready to complain about his "little sister" not winning during the first fucking award the VMAs presented. Comes to find out she would take home many more than Swift, including Video of the Year (2009). Fast forward to now. Taylor and Yeezy both return to the scene of the crime. Like a rapist and his victim, the air still holds a stench of brown urban liquor and Wal-Mart chap stick. Swift and West both are slated to perform. Swift's up first, with an unnecessary video intro of "what happened last year". I say unnecessary because I mean, come on. . . Everybody has seen that footage enough times to act it out word for word, step for step, by memory. People with Alzheimer's remember last year's VMAs. It is like showing us a video clip of Antoine Dobson's homosexual threats towards the infamous Lincoln Park "Bed Intruder". In other words, we got it. Having that video intro to such a drab song was actually very anti-climatic. It made you feel like T-Sweezy would come out dressed liked Dobson and rip some sinister rhyme about how Ye's a punk bitch gay fish with homo tendencies. Not the case. She sings her boring, suicide induced tune, with no shoes mind you. Great. Kanye's turn, and with a simple recipe of one MPC 2000XL, Caucasian ballerinas, and a song that is part apologetic/part "I is who I is" entitled Runaway (which I interpret as subliminal advice to Taylor Swift herself). Kanye immediately wins the hearts of his detractors while a good portion of people who were Swift fans last year have either moved on, switch sides, or killed themselves from being cyber bullied over the summer. Kanye will probably finish this year out in traditional successful Kanye form. Meanwhile I find a certain rumor about Swift to be ironic. One can only wish that a fling between Taylor and John Mayer (aka white Kanye) actually DID happen. It would only prove how much of a bitch karma really is.
Here's another example of getting over it. Has anybody noticed how the majority of the hate for Michael Vick kind of ceased once he started back running for 100 yards for the Eagles? Funny how steadfast these "complainers" are with their complaints until they grow weary of complaining about them.
Halloween 2010
I was sort of excited for Halloween this year, seeing as I missed my birthday and all. With that said, Halloween sort of fell apart, or I'd rather say, ran out of steam once it finally arrived. I ended up being Kanye for the second year in a row (which in hindsight wasn't that bad, people still love it, and he's generally relevant during this season every year). Obviously, I did not walk around with a bottle of Hennessy and a mouth full of interruptions. This year, I took inspiration from the Runaway film, except I opted to actually wear socks with my black slacks. I even accessorized with a milk carton that donned a missing persons like decal of Selita Ebanks' phoenix. All in all, it was a decent evening.
. . .and THAT was my October in a nutshell. . .
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