Pop culture is amazing in the differences of its relevance to what part of the world you live in. It seems to me that in Europe, pop culture (my use of the phrase meaning what’s popular and what’s not) has a bit more variety. I mean, obviously, certain pop culture staples remain the same worldwide (i.e. Lady Gaga and apparently Jersey Shore), yet there are some nice subtle differences. These differences can be noticed most specifically by watching the EMA’s, or for those who don’t speak immigrant, the European Music Awards.
Much like wrestling, foreign crowds seem like way hotter crowds. It’s like they love every fucking thing, especially if it’s American, which speaks volumes about what other countries love about our country and what they hate about us as well.
Ga Ga, as expected, took home the most awards, but didn’t perform, which I found discouraging and quite dumb on MTV’s part (though she WAS on tour somewhere, but since when do satellites no longer work?). Also surprising is either the lack of interest of Kanye West in Europe, OR the lack of MTV’s urge to have him involved in the show. Besides really wealthy American socialite women, Kanye is probably one of the biggest supporters of Europe’s economy, seeing as that is all he boasts about wearing. With that being said, it would’ve been nice to see Senor Yeezy perform is artsy spectacle of Runaway in the grand, stadium rock environment where artsy is everyday normalcy. Apparently, the number one rapper in Europe is Dizzy Rascal, who consequently ghost writes rhymes for Eva Longoria AND Kings Of Leon (which I’m sure my boss, Mikey Migo did not reveal in his Kings Of Leon expose’, lol).
As far as comedy goes, with the exception of the ultra sarcastic and dry British brand, I’ve never really been exposed to the humor of any other European region. The EMA’s have actually been the catapult to some now worldwide comedians careers, in the same manner as the VMA’s hosting gig is for U.S. comics (i.e. Russell Brand and Sasha Baron Cohen). If I were to guesstimate the most UN-funny European country, it would most definitely be France. Apparently, Eva Longoria is of some funny relevance to the Euros, and the only way I could personally explain this is her marriage to Tony Parker, who is French. As hot as she may be, again, I must re-iterate, the French are not that funny.
The performances seem to be always on a grander scale overseas. This is in regards to the EMA’s as well as concerts in general. A few obvious live performances were inevitable. Shakira, who was worldwide before the States even knew who she was, put on her every day, huge performance that was enjoyable, sexy, energetic, and sexy all at once (and yes I said sexy twice, which is ironically the same amount of times I became erect during her performance). Shak always does well live, and seemed to be a perfect choice for performance opener, fresh off the heels of her World Cup extravaganza. Katy Perry was pretty none spectacular and did what she was expected to do, though I find it odd and ironic that her on stage attire was a bit downplayed compared to her Sesame Street gear. You’d think being in Madrid Spain, she would’ve entertained us by showing a bit more. Maybe it truly is more about the music in Europe. Linkin Park, who have seemed to lose their steam of relevancy in the States put on an average performance of a song from their new album that frankly isn’t that good. Sad, after Minutes to Midnight, I thought LP might be expanding musically and crawling out of that cave that was Hip-Rock or whatever they labeled that mash-up style Fred Durst forced down our ear canals.
Madame Tik Tok, aka Lady Ke$ha (by law I am required to spell her name with a dollar sign S) was completely awful live, if you can ignore the audio completely. Significantly better than any performance I accidentally had seen of hers here in America. Ironically enough, I learned something interesting about Ke$ha that makes so much sense in her “origin” story.
Apparently, Ke$ha, whom hails from Nashville (appropriately enough), was the hick daughter of some hick lady on Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie’s The Simple Life back in 2004. I know, it’s all starting to make sense now, isn’t it. How appropriate is it that this hillbilly pop tramp , who, in her defense, was probably writing music before Hilton and her half breed side kick waltzed in her home, is sort of the result of redneck Nashville and the Paris/Nicole experience. After a not too long search for clips from that episode on YouTube, I was pleasantly amused. The episode itself centers on Hilton, Richie and Ke$h-Dawg auditioning men for her single non-milf mother to date. The winner ends up being this black guy, whose voice apparently soothes Paris’ soul. If you watch the video though, please please please pay attention to the end when said Mandingo is presented to the mother. Ke$ha’s little brother, who I pray will debut as the hillbilly Justin Beiber someday, has this all too awkward look of confusion on his face. Let’s just say that when you’re around 8 or 9 yrs old, and your mom brings home man, and you’re white and you live in Nashville, the trauma of that man being black might be a bit much to handle at first. Enjoy. . . .
Here’s a bit of bonus bullshit from my mind. I’ve noticed something about our dear little Drizzy Drake. If we are going with the theory of Jay-Z being the equivalent of Jordan, then I would have to say Drake is the new and more suitable Kobe Bryant. Hear me out. Some might disagree with the Jay-Z/Jordan comparison. Whether you disagree or not, resume’ wise, as well as skill wise, he is. Lyrically, no one can fuck with Jay-Z, and though Hov might be, at the very least, entering his “Wizards” stage of his career, his #45 stint is still far more enjoyable than Jordan’s. Drake, on the other hand, just as Kobe is to Mike, is starting to become a Xerox copy of Jay.
I first noticed this while watching Drake’s VMA performance. His conversational flow (the gum chewing equal to Jay-Z’s rap style) is right there. His choices of production and collaboraters reminds me of the Air Jordan-esque walk of Mr. S-Dot. And though Jay-Z has massively improved in the live performance department from his early dead pan beginnings, that whole “I come off better on audio medium than I do in front of your face” thing is truly his signature jumper. Kobe shoots exactly like Michael. Drake shoots exactly like Hova. I’m not saying this to say it’s this terrible thing. As much as I despise Kobe Bryant for his identity theft, in his defense, I was never an MJ fan either (REGGIE MILLER till the day I die MOFO!!!). I do however respect and comprehend that no matter how much I disliked Mike (though I did adore his Hall of Fame approach) he was/is the best to ever play a professional basketball game. With that being said, I guess Kobe could imitate worse (God forbid he was a carbon copy of Charles Barkely). In the same respect, I suppose it’s best Drake imitate Jay-Z rather than Ja-Rule or say M.C. Hammer (CHEAP SHOT ALERT!!!!!). Hey, whatever gets you through the day with a smile on your face, right? Just an observation I decided to display. Feel free to leave comments and express your displeasure for my views. Till next time . . . eat shit.
