BY MIKEY MIGO
Holy shit! I've seen some movies and I'm seen SOME MOVIES. I have no idea what that means, but I do think "Zombie Strippers" does somewhat resemble a movie. If you're so inclined about the plot stop reading because I'm about to give it away, but it won't be considered "ruining the movie". You see, this movie ruins itself. At the very start we get some overacted "in the science lab" bullshit about a new drug that brings soldiers back to life so they can continue to fight. From there, the drug goes wrong and people become zombies. The virus gets loose and ends up at an illegal strip club where you guessed, has Jenna Jameson stripping and dancing. It wouldn't be so bad is anyone with a libido and the internet hasn't seen her in compromising positions already. Her hubby and fighter Tito Ortiz has a cameo where it's very apparent he was there for like two hours and they just threw him into the movie. Robert "Freddy Krueger" England was the sleazy club owner who gets his in the end (not literally). The movie is filled with so many cliché's, bad acting, and soooo much gratuitous nudity that it gets sorta boring after awhile. The highlight is when a zombie stripper shoots ping pong balls like bullets at her rival zombie stripper and THEN she shoots pool balls. HOW she shoots them is what's pretty entertaining. There are some cheesy laughs, but I'm not sure if it's enough to merit watching this movie ever again. I look back at the words I JUST typed and I think if I were reading it I'd say "fuck this dude, his description makes me want to see this right now!" If you feel that way, then go ahead and watch it. If you're disgusted or offended then you should REALLY see this movie. Trust me.
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