BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
WWE Payback is here. It’s in Chicago so instantly a few things come to mind. The first is that the crowd will obviously be hot and louder than most shows. Chicago is notorious for really loud and obnoxious crowds. With Daniel Bryan being out and others missing from the line-up it’s going to be interesting to hear the crowd shit on the rest of the card. Will they give Cena a chance against Wyatt? Will they be able to swallow any crazy storyline angle they put out in the match without an actual legit finish? Can the crowd get through the Evolution match without going nerd-hate crazy against the old timer trio? When the Evolution defeats the Shield will the crowd riot? Will Triple H then pretend that the Evolution is THAT over as heels because of it? There are so many questions.
Of course, there’s one other question that’ll be on everyone’s mind. “Will CM Punk show up?!” I doubt it and I don’t care. If he comes back, wouldn’t it be crazy awesome if he showed up to cost The Shield their match and actually JOINED the Evolution? The crowd would spontaneous combust. I know the E is lacking big time good guys, but CM Punk showing up… the crowd going nuts… and then TURNING on The Shield and going with Triple H, Orton, and Batista would be monster heat. The old “if you can’t beat them, join them” type of nonsense.
They could have Punk vs. Bryan for like a year then Punk can turn on the Evolution, get another crazy pop and then reveal that he only joined the Authority so he could take them down from within. Blah Blah Blah.. I’m going to rage against the machine… blah blah blah…. Stephanie was the only diva left I haven’t… blah blah blah…. Pipe bomb… blah blah blah.
That’d be something, right? Not going to happen though.
The Pre-Show has Hornswoggle losing his hair to El Torito. El Torito wins the match and we’re then treated to jokes like “He’s taking a little of the top… Get it!? Because they’re LITTLE!” I like this feud because it’s different, but it would be much more interesting if they didn’t treat it all in a tongue-in-cheek joke fest. Replace “little people” with “black people” or “gay people” and people would be flipping the fuck out. It’s no different. It’s bigotry and mockery that everyone is just accepting. This could be fun without being mean, but instead the ENTIRE company is being presented as a bully.
There’s the “under card”, which in this case could steal the show. Paige is awesome and doing well, but she’s no longer the focus on the Divas division. She’s just the champion, that’s all. Now we have to focus on Alicia Fox having breakdowns. It’s cool to see her rock a new attitude, but it’s a tad cheesy and lame. “oooh she’s crazy!” Okay. Paige will win and Fox will “snap” again. Maybe she’ll get committed or something and we’ll go from there. With AJ out, the WWE apparently needs to fill their quota of “crazy diva”. Good on Alicia for pulling it off.
Rusev is going to be defeat Big E. I don’t like this, but it’s just the way things go. The WWE pushed Big E. and then decided not to anymore. He’s full of potential and star power, but he went like a month without defending his IC title and then lost it and the rematch. Meanwhile, Rusev keeps beating everyone he faces and is getting the “bi-annual foreign monster push”. He’s not horrible and COULD be good, but this whole Russian thing is lame. 95% of the WWE audience has no idea what’s going on other than “He’s against ‘merica! Boo!” There’s better ways to go with this. Ideally, Lana ditches him and goes with a wrestler who can work longer than five minutes so we have a reason to stare at her for a longer period of time. She’s the real talent in this duo. But again, poor Big E.
Everyone is suddenly appreciating and getting behind Bad News Barrett now. I like the guy but this is a case of the WWE beating the dead horse… to life! He’s not done anything different. He’s still cutting the same promos and working the same in-ring style. But somehow people’s eyes have opened and he’s accepted. Rob Van Dam is doing awesome in his role of helping get younger stars over. He had a nice small program with Cesaro and put out a few good matches and now he moves on to this one. Rob gets the wins here and there to keep his status up and a believable threat, but I’d be surprised if he won the IC Title. Maybe by DQ. Bad News Barrett retains the belt.
I don’t like Sheamus. He’s boring and dorky. He looks weird and he has not evolved AT ALL since becoming a good guy. Whenever he wrestles the crowd disengages and loses focus. He just can’t captivate the crowd. He’s an ADD wrestler. You watch for a second and then bam! “Look! Justin Hawk Bradshaw is announcing!” He’s still getting pushed at us. I don’t care if he turns heel unless he goes through a complete make-over. Meanwhile Cesaro is over. The people WANT to cheer him and he’s entertaining. As much as I like the Paul Heyman/Cesaro combo, it’s not needed. The WWE needs big faces and he could be just that. I could see a switch here where Heyman goes with Sheamus and then Cesaro chases him into summer. The big moment where Cesaro spins Heyman would be HUGE. Then it transistions into Brock vs. Cesaro, which could be a fun and interesting move. So yeah… stupid and lame ass Sheamus.
Cena and Wyatt are having anoooother match. Wyatt outsmarted him last time with the creepy kid angle. It was fun and it worked out the way anyone would expect. Cena lost but was super protected, Wyatt got over more, and the WWE is working really hard to force people to think a certain way instead of letting the crowd organically appreciate the Wyatts. I don’t think anyone in the crowd is “brainwashed by Wyatt’s antics”. They just like the dude’s charisma and decent ring work and they’re tired as shit of Cena. I’m hoping I’m wrong, but I’m going with Cena here.
I can’t see Evolution losing two shows in a row. Something fishy will go down and Evolution will take the win to get their revenge from the last time they fought. Then MAYBE we’ll get a third “rubber match” between the group if Batista is still around for it. It’s elimination so maybe he loses and then Orton and Trips stand tall. So yep. Evolution wins.
Lower your expectations and this might not be horrible. I mean REALLY lower them…
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