BY MICHAEL GOODPASTER
WWE Battleground is up next. The last few shows have been a bit lackluster for me. I watch for over three hours and hope to be engaged or get something with a little more magic. It’s mostly filler for a few matches that might as well be “Extended Cut” RAW matches because it’s the same spots and flow as a Monday match except it has no commercials and a few more minutes to cram in a lot of nearfalls so the match seems “extra competitive” and thus the crowd whorishly gives out the once-special “This is awesome” chant to any near fall followed by a slow dramatic get to your feet spot. I’m not THAT jaded. I do enjoy it enough to want to keep watch. I watch out of tradition, habit and genuine love for the product. It just feels like it’s not pushing itself or switching gears. Solid matches could be great moments if the story and presence of the product was up.
Instead WWE TV has become a PBS afternoon special for the WWE Network. Think about it. We’ve all seen the PBS specials where in between the many commercials is a boring person shilling the need for money from “viewers like you”. We get a little bit of a match and then a “to support WWE and to watch everything ever sign up for the WWE Network” pitch. Over and over and over again. It’s gotten to the point where it’s pushy and getting a bit sad. They’ve given away free weeks, given away free gift cards to their merch store for referrals and have all but said “if you buy this, we’ll love you”.
I’m 99% sure I’m going to cancel my WWE Network subscription come renewal time. I know a lot of folks get a lot from it, but I just don’t. It’s mostly PPVs and some NXT for me. It’s not so much the $10 a month, but rather the hours of life I waste waiting to be entertained by a product that has outgrown me.
Never the less, Battleground!
I remember still having a MySpace when I heard that the WWE signed Naomi. She is an awesome talent and has more skill than most people realize. She could easily hang with the best divas in the ring and with a good storyline and push the WWE could have something special on their hands in terms of marketing money. Cameron is putting the work in and has come a long way. I hope she is paired up with someone so she doesn’t fall through the cracks. She can still occasionally wrestle, but if she’s always out there with someone it would only help. Her personality is strong. The crazy part is that this long forming match is on the preshow. This match has backstory, a strong developing arch and longtime characters. Most iconic male tag teams didn’t even get as solid of a break up as The Funkadacktyls. Naomi wins.
I don’t really like AJ Lee’s work all that much. She’s got “it” and is talented, but it just doesn’t seem as defined as it used to be. She had a distinct character. Now she’s just channeling CM Punk in her promos, something I’ve said she has been doing since her weird love triangle story with Kane/Punk/Bryan and working the same match. I seriously can’t think of any “good AJ matches” off the top of my head. I can visualize memorable spots and some cool moves, but never a bell to bell match that captivated me. Paige has already done this for me. She seems more cohesive as a wrestler but a little loss as a character. She was a cool heel in NXT and an awkward face as a WWE Diva’s Champion. I’d be interesting to see her just snap and go off and win the belt back but as the heel. It would be a role reversal where AJ would chase the champ. I like that idea so I’m going with WWE logic and saying that AJ<./b> wins.
I’m excited about the potential of a Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho match. Jericho is there to help put people over and create a few moments along the way. He needs to maintain his status as a title threat and make sure when he does love to newer guys it still means something. I just don’t see that being now though. Bray Wyatt needs the push forward. This storyline needs to go on for a while. Bray Wyatt wins.
The Intercontinental Title Battle Royal should be fun. This is the second battle royal on PPV this year not including the Rumble. That’s kind of awesome. The options could be The Miz, Cesaro, Bo Dallas, Fandango, and Alberto Del Rio but I think and hope they’ll go with a sleeper. Would anyone expect Titus O’Neil or Heath Slater? Why not put it on Kofi or RVD to help stabilize their card placement for the time being? Would giving it back to Big E after taking it from him after a uneventful run with it? To me Dolph, Alberto, and Miz should be presented as “above” this. Any COULD win, but to me it comes down to Fandango, Bo Dallas, and my random pick RVD.
I don’t get the love for The Usos at all. They are passable, but they are just really hokey and lame. Their characters are just crappy cartoon personalities in colorful clothes. They are not bad wrestlers, but they’re not great. Their high spots are in the same book as a Rock and Roll Express or basic Southern Indie guy. The Hardys, Dudleys, and even teams like the Headbangers and APA has cooler move sets. They work good matches though. Especially with The Wyatt Family. Rowan continues to improve and Harper continues to impress. Luke Harper is going to be a future singles star and maybe even main eventer. I keep saying the Usos are going to lose and the Wyatts keep getting rematches. It’s time to shit or get off the pot. Wyatts win.
Jack Swagger still sucks. Nothing about him has changed. As a face he’s even more annoying. I hope Rusev crushes. Don’t do it for Russia. Do it for Wade Barrett. Do it for Big Show. Do it for everyone! Swagger is lucky to have a job. He should be wearing a mask under a new gimmick and new name… in a tag team. He’s talented but he’s just lame and clunky. Rusev is on his way up and will be facing off against the big guns here shortly. Rusev wins.
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins should steal the show. I can’t imagine these two aren’t going to tear the building down and put on a great match. I remember watching them face off for the 10 minute medal gimmick FCW had. They are going to feud for a while so I wouldn’t expect a clear and clean winner. I think Ambrose steals the win in this. Rollins will still be the Money in the Bank holder win or lose. Ambrose needs to “overcome” and rise on the card. Ambrose vs. Orton or Kane should be on deck after this long running feud takes a detour.
The WWE World Title match is lame. It’s John Cena, Kane, Orton, and Reigns. Reigns is the “coolest” and “freshest” pick. Kane is just there. Cena will overcome the odds and Randy Orton, for better or worse, is the best actual wrestler in this match. Everyone expects there to be Brock Lesnar coming out and destroying Cena after he retains. Who is to say that he can’t come out before the decision? Why can’t Brock actually COST Cena the title? This would mean Randy Orton becomes the winner by default. I guess. None of these options sound all that appealing knowing the storylines moving forward won’t be that exciting or entertaining. This is all just boring. Reigns has a few solid spots but is still growing in the ring. His mic skills are bad. He looks like he’s squinting and talking like a duck with diarrhea when he takes on the mic. It just looks awkward. I like his potential and he seems cool. I just get worried he’s getting a Ryback push and won’t survive the valleys of the steady peaks he’s experienced since debuting. Ugh. Safe pick. Cena wins again.
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