BY MIKEY MIGO
I wanted to see Piranha 3D when it hit the theatres this past summer. I knew it was going to be over the top, cheesy, and full of blood and boobs. I was okay with that. Seeing such a thing in 3D on a big ol’ movie screen just sounds like a good time. I was all about it, but sadly I missed out on it. So I had to wait. Now, what I’m stuck with is Piranha minus the 3D and on a 27 inch standard definition static-ridden television screen. One would think the extravagance and 3D being stripped from the experience would have a bad effect. In the end, all I was left with was an over the top and cheesy movie full of blood and boobs. I was okay with that as well. The movie rocked. It’s not great and there are so many points where you’re literally forced to roll your eyes at the action, editing, teases, and dialogue because it’s so hokey. But at the same time, there is a lot of blood and the attack scenes are gruesomely entertaining. It’s not like a SAW or Hostel form of gore-porn blood bath. It’s a good ol’ fashion blood romp. You get exactly what the trailer presents to you and more. The story is that there are some evil prehistoric piranhas unleashed into the lake during a MTV-looking Spring Break. Hilarity and death ensues. The story centers around a teenage dude who is supposed to babysit his little brother and sister, while his sheriff mom (Elisabeth Shue) and some science guy (Adam Scott) go on a pursuit to find out what the hell is going on. Along with those find people, we have Jerry O’Connell running a “Girls Gone Wild” type of production being really obnoxious and hilarious. I typically shrug the dude off, but he was pretty damn entertaining here and it might be my favorite role of his since Stand By Me. Ving Rhames is another cop who has a great “end scene”. There are some other cameos that I don’t want to give away. One you probably know already, but the second was a shock to me. It’s just a crazy ride of a movie and I really enjoyed it. The death scenes are creative as any traditional horror movie and a lot more entertaining. At one point there is like a thousand half naked people partying at the lake… then the piranhas hit and it’s feeding time for the fishes. It’s a sight to be seen, that’s for sure. I want to give it a high grade, but I’m not sure. I was expecting a “Snakes on a Plane” experience. By that I mean that it’d be enjoyable to watch once and get all the jokes and twists out of the way… and then, never again. Yet with Piranha, I not only want to see it at least one more time but I’d love to see a sequel. This was a very guilty pleasure. If you’re looking for that, you need to see this movie. Intoxication is a plus! B
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