BY MIKEY MIGO
I love Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. Seriously, I love them. They are great men and if and when I ever use their bathroom I would double courtesy flush my pee. That’s how much respect I have for these two creative geniuses. I give them the benefit of the doubt and they rarely ever let me down. They put out gems like Anchor Man on their own, they slap their producer tags on Danny McBride and Jody Hill greatness, and FunnyorDie has provided hours of giggles. I saw the trailer for Virginity Hit and it looked lame, but I can’t turn my back on Adam and Will just yet. So despite my reservations, I watched The Virginity Hit. My main question here is what the fu*k? What the hell is this shit? Did someone lose a bet? Did Adam McKay owe somebody gambling debt? Did Will Ferrell get drunk and sign a contract of some sort? This movie is presented as a documentary-slash-really long youtube video. It wants you to believe this is true, but it’s not. At start you’re just annoyed by the whole thing. It’s about a group of friends who lose their virginity one by one and celebrate by smoking a celebratory bong. One dude, the main kid, is still waiting to lose his. So, the rest of the movie is about that. One kid seeking to get his rocks off with a chick. It’s a movie that’s been done a million times, but they throw an “iGeneration” twist on it. My biggest gripe is the kids themselves, the whole set up, and just the time I wasted on this. The kids are douche bags. They are unlikable and not funny. The acting is bad. At times I’m not sure if these douche bag kids are bad actors or trying really hard to ham it up for the camera. I’m not one to get all preachy, but the movie treats women, mainly teenage girls, like cheap pieces of meat. I don’t think in my worst of teenage hormones that I was ever this much of a douche. The dudes aren’t “good looking” and are pretty damn nerdy, but the girls are attractive and slutty. Then we have the aspect of the parents just smiling and playing a long the whole time. Your child is going to fu*k another child and keeps partying around you. Do something. Anything. But they do nothing. These are also very well off kids. The house they live in is probably worth more than the block of houses I live on. I had a lot of trouble relating to well off nerdy douche bags who hang out with slutty chicks while their parents look the other way and fund it with their massive incomes. This shit is so out of touch with what’s really going on out there. The economy is down, teen pregnancy is up and glorified on MTV, and so much more real stuff is going on. Outside of those with trust funds and parents in the highest of tax brackets could possibly relate to this crapfest. I still love Will and Adam, but I’m weary of their judgment now. I don’t even fault the kids in the movie, the actors, the writers, and director. They took a chance and put themselves out there. I’ll respect that to the end, but it was just a horrible experience. How these dudes can get $2-$3 million dollars for a budget, get Will Ferrell and Adam McKay to act as producers, and to get a wide theatrical release is beyond me. I am jealous and annoyed by the chance these guys had and in my honest opinion, wasted. I feel bad for everyone involved in this and really hope they get another chance… just after us. D+
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